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irasshai \(^o^)/September 21 続・禁断の恋をしよう -&- 禁断の恋でいこう i just finished reading the sequel (kindan no koi de ikou) of zoku - kindan no koi wo shiyou and had to blog. it was undoubtedly one of the most purest, sweetest and all-conquering heterosexual love that i have read. it wasn't particularly dramatic, but the mangaka did a great job in portraying the classic type of love that is unshakeable and everlasting incorporating both emotional and physical intimacy. after reading this series, i can definitely see the different takes on how emotional and physical intimacy are portrayed in josei and shojo manga. anyways, this blog wasn't meant to be an indepth analysis of the series. i just really wanted to mark down how i felt after reading the last chapter. it was truly a bittersweet ending, though calling it 'bittersweet' is somewhat unjust. the theme of different lifespans between human and wolf had been prominent throughout the manga for awhile now, but i guess i didn't want to believe that the mangaka would conclude the series concretely with decades following hisako's death. i thought the series would typically end with yato and hisako physically together with the implication that hisako will one day leave yato. with that being said, i don't think the ending was horrible. it was executed well. the time slip after hisako and yato's last encounter was a little confusing, but not detrimental to my overall impression of series. at least we know that hisako kept her promise to yato that she would be with him until death, and yato's promise to be with hisako even after her death. the tombstone by the cherry blossom tree was indeed beautiful. the blooming sakura petals along with yato's yearning for hisako to take the form of a human again was melancholic yet hopeful. i guess that's where most of the beauty of this series lies. hisako could not escape death, but even so, the fact that her existence continues to live within yato and the suzui's family memories, give readers the sense that this love is far from coming to an end, literally. this portrayal is the very essence of an everlasting love, despite the loneliness of the one who lives to remember. September 20 ひみつの嵐ちゃん：井上真央only one word can describe how i feel about this episode - DISAPPOINTED! i was anticipating this episode for one whole week because -finally- we get to see mao and jun coupled together. but to my dismay, the episode was just okay, not fantastic and not particularly interesting either. it had its funny moments, but my overall impression was that arashi, mao and their producers played it extremely safe. jun was right in pointing out that 80% of mao's graph ended with SP and movie promos. this doesn't tell us a lot about her private life. i agree that some things should be kept personal but COME ON!! they could have given us something!! people were excited to see mao on himitsu arashi chan because they wanted to see some mao-jun LOVE! i personally, wanted to see another side of mao. i mean, she revealed even more on 5LDK for god's sake! i thought she would do the same for arashi but i guess not. and jun was quieter than usual. "quiet" might be the wrong word to describe him, but he was very おとなしい? i read on someone's livejournal post about their thoughts of the episode and i totally agree that the only mao-jun moment was at the beginning when the hosts said, "this two shot is amazing". jun got all shy, slightly stepped back and was looking at the ground. that was extremely cute haha, and really, it was the only moment that made me go kyaa actually. then i rewatched the end of 20090910's episode to see the preview of mao coming on himitsu and realized that they cut parts out of the episode. in the preview, you see arashi trying to appeal to mao - nino, sho and ohno doing some stupid thing in the front with jun standing at the back and aiba waving lol. WHERE WAS THAT PART?? after realizing that part was cut, it made me think - well how many other parts were cut?? her time was really short. it ended without a climax -_-;; yeah, she chose jun for the wild eating competition, but i don't see the reason why she chose aiba at the end lol. don't get me wrong - i LOVE aiba, but come on. the episode doesn't show any proof that aiba was the best candidate other than the beginning when she said that he was manly. anyways, the episode was disappointing, anti-climatic, and a let down. they played it way too safe and the atmosphere of the show was somewhat distant and reserved. she will be on shukudai-kun tomorrow night so mao-jun fans still have a chance to see some fanservice. if they are going to play it safe on shukudai-kun, then i'm going to be mega pissed. August 29 いつも何でも (千と千尋神隠し) this was harder than i expected ;_; so there will be a lot of mistakes ><;;; booooo ... sigh ... ... ... *runs* >>>>>_> いつも何度でも 作詞／覚和歌子 作曲・歌／木村 弓 呼んでいる 胸のどこか奥で いつも心踊る 夢を見たい 悲しみは 数えきれないけれど その向こうできっと あなたに会える 繰り返すあやまちの そのたびひとは ただ青い空の 青さを知る 果てしなく 道は続いて見えるけれど この両手は 光を抱ける さよならのときの 静かな胸 ゼロになるからだが 耳をすませる 生きている不思議 死んでいく不思議 花も風も街も みんなおなじ ラララララララララ・・・・・・・・・ ホホホホルルルル・・・・・・・・ 呼んでいる 胸のどこか奥で いつも何度でも 夢を描こう 悲しみの数を 言い尽くすより 同じくちびるで そっとうたおう 閉じていく思い出の そのなかにいつも 忘れたくない ささやきを聞く こなごなに砕かれた 鏡の上にも 新しい景色が 映される はじまりの朝の 静かな窓 ゼロになるからだ 充たされてゆけ 海の彼方には もう探さない 輝くものは いつもここに わたしのなかに 見つけられたから ~~~ my translation ~~~ Always, Everything Lyrics by Kaku Wakako Vocals by Kimura Yumi Somewhere within the depths of my heart is calling out I want to see a dream that always makes the heart dance The sorrow is infinite but, I can surely meet you on the other side That traveller of the spirited road that repeats over and over again* Only knows of the blueness of the blue sky And can see the road that never ends continue on but, Both of these hands will be able to embrace the light Since the calm heart of the time of farewell will vanish Listen closely The mystery of living, the mystery of dying The flowers, wind and city. Everyone is the same Lalalalala... ... ... Hohohoho ... ... ... Somewhere within the depths of my heart is calling out Let's sketch our dreams over and over again, always Rather than talking about the number of sorrows Let's sing outside with these same lips Within the memories that are sealed away, always Listen to the unforgettable whispers Also on the mirror that was smashed into small pieces A new scene is being projected The silent window of the first morning Enjoy it because it will vanish I won't look toward the other side of the ocean anymore Things that shine will always be here Because I will be able to find it within me
もののけ姫the pattern continues XD~~ghibli hehhe ♥♥♥ もののけ姫／歌詞（歌：米良美一） 作詞：宮崎駿 作曲：久石譲 はりつめた弓の ふるえる弦よ 月の光にざわめく おまえの心 とぎすまされた刃の美しい そのきっさきによく似た そなたの横顔 悲しみと怒りにひそむ まことの心を知るは 森の精 もののけ達だけ もののけ達だけ ~~~my translation~~~ Yoshikazu Mera - The Vengeful Princess The bow that trembles of the strained arrow Your heart astirs in the moonlight The beauty of the sharpened blade The profile of your face closely resembled the point of that blade Only the vengeful ghosts, only the vengeful ghosts, the spirit of the forest Understands the heart of the truth hidden in despair and anger 倍賞千恵子：世界の約束 （ハウルの動き城）so i felt the urge to translate something and decided on the ending song for howl's moving castle 'cos i've been listening to ghibli songs for the past two weeks XD~~ 歌手：倍賞千恵子 作詞：谷川俊太郎 作曲：木村弓 涙の奥にゆらぐほほえみは 時の始めからの世界の約束 いまは一人でも二人の昨日から 今日は生まれきらめく 初めて会った日のように 思い出のうちにあなたはいない そよかぜとなって頬に触れてくる 木漏れ日の午後の別れのあとも 決して終わらない世界の約束 いまは一人でも明日は限りない あなたが教えてくれた 夜にひそむやさしさ 思い出のうちにあなたはいない せせらぎの歌にこの空の色に 花の香りにいつまでも生きて ~~~my translation~~~ Baisho Chieko - The Promise of the World The wavering smile in the depths of tears is the promise of the world since the beginning of time Even though, you're by yourself now From the yesterday of our lives The 'today' will come into this world and shine Like the first day we met You are not here in my memories Feeling the gentle breeze on my cheeks And also, after the parting of the afternoon's sunlight shining through the trees The promise of the world will never come to an end Even though, you're by yourself now Tomorrow is endless You taught me the kindness hidden by the darkness You are not here in my memories In the sound of the song In the color of the sky In the smell of the flowers We will continue to live for eternity November 12 久しぶりのポスト～ARGH! MISAKI IS SO ANNOYING!!! *steaming*
i mean come on!!! episode 7 of season freaking 2 and we are still at misaki's premature developmental stage. WHAT THE FUCK. geez. i mean after all that you have been through (and done! mind you) with usagi, just freaking get on with it and stop being such a god damn pussy. and i dont understand how he can still defend sumi senpai even after witnessing sumi senpai hitting on usagi! and even being told his true intention is to get usagi T_T. i dont see how misaki can just overlook that and not react to it. he fucking pisses me off. and wtfever happened to his 'resolution' in the last episode of season 1 to seduce usagi?! -_- go die misaki.
it's been awhile since i last posted T_T..im too lazy haha although i should write my thoughts about the last batch of anime that i've seen. but i'm not going to do that tonight~~quick update on what im watching now:
junjou romantica 2!
i was so excited when it started and i am literally waiting week by week for each episode, eagerly mind you. it is still the same - lack of physical intimacy, rushed episodes and an annoying masaki. the physical intimacy really shits me. they imply rather than show way too much in my opinion. sure, it's not meant to be porn, but if they are going to include intimiate scenes then you may as well do it properly. i get the feeling that they just shove those scenes in each episode for fanservice. fanservice works, but the way that it has been included so far makes me feel like i rather not see it at all if they are going to just show it in a weak, obligatory way. the one thing about BL stories that make it exciting is the combination of emotional and physical intimacy. it gets frustrating when you have scenes that lack depth and intensity. i sometimes feel cheated almost because they are constantly building up to a climax only to end on such an anti-climatic level -_-
so far it is heavily focused on misaki/usagi. i was happy to see nowaki/hiroki come into the scene but it was so short lived. from memory, they were only shown for a mere one episode?? or two? i don't remember, but it wasn't much haha. i was disappointed because their arc in season 1 was by far the best. i hope they come back in the later episodes of this season T_T
misaki started off fine, but he's getting annoying again. you would think that by this stage that he has accepted his feelings for usagi and he should be somewhat honest about them. but no. he is still the same misaki from the beginning of season 1 who refuses to accept usagi completely. whatever happened to his resolve to push usagi down and seduce him?!? he's definitely not making any progress with that resolution at the rate he is going now. i don't even think he has clearly voiced a simple "i love you" to usagi yet in this season. his self-narrations about his feelings toward usagi has certainly increased, and because of that we as viewers know that he has embraced his feelings for usagi to some extent. that's fine, but i don't see the point of verbalizing his feelings to us - the viewers. he should be articulating it TO USAGI for god's sake. we get the point! misaki cares for usagi! but usagi doesn't know the extent of how much misaki cares for him yet -_- and that is the most annoying part of it. usagi is constantly conveying his feelings to misaki. it's almost pitiful that he doesn't receive the same amount of emotional security back.
i never ended up finishing this XD;; it just became boring.
i never finished this one either haha. it was just crap.
skip beat - typical shoujo story. i like it, but i love spoilers so i went and wiki'd the summaries. i just don't like how there's no guarantee that kyoko and ren will get together. finished watching this, but clearly, it’s incomplete so i found the manga and started following that instead. the manga is great XD funny and has more kyoko-ren love~~! the manga is ongoing so unfortunately, their relationship still has a looong way to go T_T
nodame cantabile paris-hen - FANTASTIC. i love it. you must be insane to not like this series :D pity, that it is only a 12 ep series this season T_T am waiting for third season baby!!
totally gave up on this. didn’t bother with this after i wrote this post.
just waiting for more animated BL now XD~~~! April 25 fufufu[edit #4] SO MUCH LOVE!
although ep 12 started off quite slowly, it really redeemed itself after misaki -finally- told usagi how he felt in regards to him being the only one who doesn't know anything about usagi's family, past or work. that was a really sweet 'confession' hehehehe and his shyness was conveyed beautifully in my opinion. and it wasn't one of those awkward, lame "きゃー、恥ずかしい…えへ" kinda moments either. i could feel misaki's embarrassment and actually imagine how he was feeling in that particular scene. absolutely fantastic. i also liked how it was followed up with usagi leaning in toward misaki from behind and telling him that isaka was in fact his brother's friend and that his relationship with his family wasn't great. it was that very act of closing into misaki was just so much love *-* hehehehe *smiley*
and for some reason, the kissing scenes in this episode were more entertaining to watch as well. i guess it just fitted well with the situation - a sweet, embarrassing, full of love context really brings out the intensity of the kiss to a greater extent, i think :D it was also nice to see misaki being determined to take the initiative for once too! it was so adorable how he continued trying to take control of the moment wanting to -give- something to usagi, while his hands were shaking uncontrollably hehehe. this was the first time (in the series) where i actually thought that misaki was loveable lol. even prior to this scene, the part where he was asking usagi what he wanted in celebration of winning the literary award was sooo cute to watch too! he was totally saying everything that he was thinking aloud hahaha, like "it'd be nice if it wasn't anything too expensive. BUT OH and i get paid in two weeks' time so it would be even better if you could wait until then! AND OH! i will get around to reading that book!..." lol he was basically having a conversation with himself not knowing when to stop, making the things that he was saying seem even more genuine and sincere *-*
the most きゃーー scene for me would have to be when (yes i liked it so much i tried to transcribe it again lol) -->「受賞祝いにほしいものがある」>「な、何」>「お前」
rather than what was said, it was the -way- that it was said that made me fall over die 100 times. misaki's flushed face and gentle voice asking akihiko what, only to have akihiko say "you" in that deep, husky and seductive manner that just takes your breath away *-* heheheheh. *sigh* i'm satisfied.
this was when i thought, ah -- no wonder this is called junjou romantica. i can totally see the pureness of the love portrayed in not only akihiko/misaki but also the other two pairings <3
i know that i'm reusing the words "cute" and "adorable" a lot in this post but i cannot help it! hahah i don't know how to describe such a CUTE feeling lol. it was a great episode. i really, really hope that this is NOT the end! i will be devastated if they never come back with a second season. episode 12 clearly did not end in a conclusive way and there is still so much more left to tell - akihiko's relation with his brother, the drama that his brother stirrs up and the miyagi/shinobu development.
there really wasn't enough time allocated to miyagi/shinobu pairing. it was like, here's the present moment > here's miyagi's past > reach an understanding > hook up. they dealt with that in a mere two episodes! it pretty much took one whole episode for the arc to be introduced, meaning that it took one episode for them to get together then reach a conclusion. i really did not feel any development or closure with this couple. it didn't even come close to the kamijou/nowaki development. i am content with kamijou/nowaki at the moment, although i would like to see more of them. but even if there aren't anymore full episodes dedicated to them, i can still say that i feel satisfied. this is certainly not the case with miyagi/shinobu though. and the development between akihiko/misaki is JUST beginning so there is absolutely no way that i can feel happy about leaving things unfinished now!! impossible!!
i hope a second season will come!! if it doesn't then i will be pained beyond belief *wails*
[edit #3] "..."
so ep 10 is the beginning of the miyagi/shinobu arc. since it just started, i don't have much of an opinion about it yet other than i cannot stand shinobu. maybe he will grow on me later but right now, i find his character kinda annoying. mainly because of the style of speech he uses. even though it is normal for male characters to use 「俺」、「～じゃねー」type of speech, but for some reason i find it extremely irritating when shinobu uses it. i think it also has to do with the tone and emphasis that the seiyuu puts on it, making it seem even stronger and childish as it needs to be. that is exactly what my impression of shinobu is right now - childish. sure, he's a 17 year old high school kid, but the problem lies more with his "i am so hardcore" attitude. it just annoyed me a lot. and i can't really understand his ways of reasoning - why does miyagi have to take responsibility of his (present) unrequited love? -_-;; and the line he said toward the end of the episode when he made the relation between miyagi's favorite book (?) and his name was stupid too. i don't know if it was a book or an author, but it was something or someone who miyagi admired. and it so happens that a character of shinobu's name can be read in the same way too, which is why he said that "you will come to like me too" ... -_-;; the expression that miyagi had after he said that was exactly what i was feeling and if i had to describe it now, then there is no other way to describe it other than "..."
on a more positive note, i was happy to get a peek into miyagi's past. it's almost as if he doesn't want to go through the hardships of losing a loved one again, as he did with the woman in the wheelchair. im guessing she ended up dying in the end. i guess we'll find out more later~~
anyways like i said, it was just the beginning of the arc, so it'll probably pick up in the next couple of episodes *hopefully*. reedeem yourself junjou romantica!
[edit #2] mmm....
i guess after the impact of the nowaki/kamijou arc, the series decided to go for a more toned down approach before they introduce a new arc. i didn't find ep 7 and 8 particularly interesting nor did i find it boring. i was satisfied with it, but it wasn't quite there for me. it was really just the issue about takahiro wanting to take misaki back so that he can give him the warmth of a family.
i think the reason why i think these eps weren't 100% was the fact that both usagi and misaki were starting to become the type of characters that i don't particularly like. they didn't verbalize their thoughts and desires to each other, regardless of how selfish it may be. in circumstances like those, true feelings should just be conveyed rather than thinking "oh no if i say that then he might think i am an inconvenience" etc. if they don't communicate what they want from each other, they'll begin to assume (the wrong things) then draw the wrong conclusions.
it's kinda starting to reflect a heterosexual relationship to me. in my eyes, i think that misaki is really taking on a feminine role. he holds back what he wants to say/do a lot, thinks a lot to himself without actually conveying thoughts (that he should convey!) to usagi, and is becoming a little too fragile and passive for my liking. i may be wrong, but in most cases usagi is the one who takes the initiative in expressing how he feels through his words and actions. that pattern of behavior was quite clear in ep 8. sure, misaki tried to take the initiative by asking if he could leave his stuff at usagi's house etc., but typically he took back what he said and treated it like a joke. only when he starts to cry is when usagi finally finds the resolve to take action and go to where misaki is, where he then embraces him and tells misaki how he really feels - 「渡さない。たかひろにも誰にもどこにも行かせない」- "i won't hand you over to takahiro or anybody else. i won't let you go anywhere". now that pretty much sums up everything and answers all of misaki's insecurities. in that sense, i don't know why but i really see misaki to be extremely passive. it's like without usagi's prompt, misaki will refuse to honestly express what he really wants.
anyways, im getting more and more confused as to how i feel with this series as i continue to write this lol. i guess overall, ep 7 and 8 were really sweet episodes. there were a lot of scenes where i fawned and flailed over lol. but it just wasn't up to par for me. like i said, this is probably because of the emotional impact that the nowaki/kamijou arc had on me, so obviously if i compare this 'mini arc' to the previous one, then this mini arc is definitely going to lose haha. but i suppose it's a good way to calm the viewers down before they go straight into another story.
another thing i have to mention though is the sex scenes. the movement is way too stiff for my liking (e.g. the beginning of ep 8 when usagi pushes misaki down after he takes the laundry in) and it is wayyy too implied (the train). even if they can't show explicit scenes, a little bit more detail would have been nice i guess. cos right now i feel like they are just throwing in a sex scene for the sake of it. i can't exactly feel the love and desire for one another when they do make love (T_T)
[edit #1] 「やかましい！俺宛てなら、俺のもんだ！」
KYAA~~!! omg hahah i am in love with junjou romantica right now. episode 6 was so intense, angsty yet so much LOVE at the same time *-* the nowaki/kamijou arc was totally an emotional rollercoaster! i was so anxious to see how their relationship was going to turn out...there were so many instances where i thought, crap, this isn't going to work...they're going to part *cries* but i was so happy when they both finally expressed their insecurities to each other XD
and the end of the episode was just so cute!! how kamijou insisted on keeping the letters that nowaki wrote ;D and nowaki's response as to why he didn't throw out the letters hahaha 「ヒロさんの名前が書いたあるのに捨てられません」 XD and i found it hilarious when nowaki was reluctantly reading one of his letters and how kamijou was like what kind of play is that *freaks out* 「やめんか！なんのプレーだそれは！」 hahahaha SOOOOO CUTTTEEEE~~!! and it was so adorable how kamijou welcomed nowaki home at the end *-* fixing his hair only to mess it up out of frustration and to pretend that he doesn't care haha. and how he blushed when he said okaeri *-* hehhehe. i feel so relieved now! i've been waiting all week for this episode just to find out what was going to happen to them. having a laugh at the end of all that angst is truly the best feeling ever XD
ok i've decided to compile a list of the lines that made me smile uncontrollably in this episode haha. it was just too sweet *-* some parts of the sentence may be wrong since i tried to transcribe them from listening to the raw anime ^^;; it's as close as i can get it XD ~ and now i feel like translating them too XD it's context and timing related haha...which is why some lines may sound odd or dull haha. it has a bigger impact when you watch it ;D
「いいかげんにしやがれ！ 俺はお前に会ってから全てむちゃくちゃなんだ。 一番なりたくね人間になってんだ！…お前なんかに会わなきゃ俺はもっと冷静な人間でいられたんだ…好きだ。好き。好きだ。好きなんだよ！好きで悪いか！ちくしょう！バカ野郎！何でお前なんかに…最悪だ。最悪すぎる！」
「絶対なんてありえないかもしれません。だけど、はっきりしていることは俺はヒロさん以上に好きになる人はいない」
「自分がその人の一番なら、それはどんなに嬉しいことなんかと。だめなんだ。こいつじゃないと…俺は…野分ではないと」
「傷つけて、傷つけられても、嫌いになるどころか…形残ってしまいばいいなんだ。そうすれば、お前は俺を忘れなくなる…」
「こんなにも、こんなにも、誰かを好きになって…俺はもう二度とこんな恋はしない」
「ヒロさんに会いたい。会いたい。会いたい。ヒロさんが好きです」
「やかましい！俺宛てなら、俺のもんだ！」
「ヒロさんの名前が書いたあるのに捨てられません」
「やめんか！なんのプレーだそれは！」
junjou romantica - pretty art but a little bit deformed at times, pace is a tad too fast, but overall so far so good
itazurana kiss - i was excited about this, but it isn't fantastic unfortunately. still going to continue with it.
special a - i was excited about this as well. compared to itazurana kiss, the art is better but hikari annoys me T_T
and for those who are interested, my japan blog is here - http://itsjesslyn.blogspot.com/
February 18 ♥ Clannad ♥[edit #3] Episode 23
i figured i better finish off my blog for clannad. episode 23 was bloody great. the series definitely redeemed itself in my books after watching this. though i would have preferred at least ONE kiss to end off the series, but i guess i was somewhat content with the material that i was given with. there were so many cute moments here, but, nagisa was a little too frigid for my liking though haha. the best scene for them to insert a kiss would have been on the bench toward the end XD~~ how nagisa was blowing into tomoya's face HEHEHHEHE. that was sooo kyaaa----!! i was like omg omg omg, tomoya - lean in and attack!! this unfortunately did not happen and i don't understand why haha. damn you kyoani!! but the last scene of them standing with their shadows in the sunset was just beautiful. it was a really soft and gentle way to end it leaving you with a smile.
so the bottom line is - i totally recommend this. i admit that some episodes aren't to par, but the overall experience was great. a really gentle, cute and humorous love story (even though it was based on a H-game >_> haha) that is undoubtedly going on my favorites list <3
[edit #2] Episode 22
i'm really confused as to whether ep 22 is the 'last' episode for clannad or not. next week's episode (ep 23) is clearly an extra filler so i doubt that it will do any justice to the conclusion and i have absolutely no idea what ep 24 is going to about. but anyways, putting this confusion aside, episode 22 was under for me again.
the first half of the series was extremely long winded. nagisa's depression kept dragging on to the point where i got frustrated. just get over it! far out. i was annoyed. nothing's going to happen if you just continue to dwell on something that you can't change now. so anyways, that was a put off for me and not a very good way to start off my mood to the episode.
by far, the most emotional part of this episode was akio's outburst. his little speech touched me and really wow'ed me as well. it had an impact, which was what clannad has been lacking for the last three episodes. it has been so dull lately in my opinion. though it was a good scene, i can't help but feel that kyoani seems to LOVE having personal affairs being dealt with in public. i mean...i felt that awkward atmosphere again. these public scenes first started off with okazaki and nagisa balling their eyes out during the fuko arc at her sister's wedding, which was bloody awkward for me. then comes along kyou and ryou's outburst during the tomoyo's tennis match, and now akio's outburst with a pinch of okazaki and sanae in the theatre hall. out of all three, akio's speech probably affected me the most. it was just great.
then we have the confession. i thought it was a bit rushed. i would have actually liked to see them go on a date rather than seeing still frames. i could feel the tension, embarassment and courage that okazaki mustered up in order to confess to nagisa, which did have an impact on me to some degree. BUT, clearly it wasn't enough. i expected the same amount of shock, happiness and relief from nagisa to compliment the anxiety that i felt from okazaki. all nagisa did was give that classical "eh?" then cry without saying anything. surrreeee - there was obviously some unspoken connection and mutual agreement between the two of them, but they could have at least VERBALIZED something! i was also hoping for some physical contact as well - i mean at least give each other a HUG to celebrate this moment rather than just stand there like a brick wall!! *lets out a long and frustrated sigh* and because this confession took place sooo far down the track, i couldn't feel the excitement and love between the two anymore. they definitely became closer and more comfortable with each other, but that love, that SPARK, that CHEMISTRY just wasn't there for me unfortunately.
let's also not forget - okazaki's story. please, oh please do not tell me that his 'story' had been concluded with that pathetic line that he said to his dad, "don't drink too much". fair enough, his dad turned back with a somewhat surprised expression, which to some degree suggests that the relationship between this father and son is progressing, even if it is slow. but come on, how pathetic! all okazaki really did was move out of home to give him and his father some space, then only to have his 'story' pushed aside and half-heartedly returned to by that 10s appearance of his father at the high school festival. *sigh*
oh, and that story of that girl and the robot - WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT ABOUT?? seriously. i cannot pinpoint what purpose that whole story served. it was introduced at the very beginning of the series and i find it rather ridiculous that the whole point of that was just to give nagisa a story to perform. i felt like this was going to be apart of a larger plot; something that mattered. i'm struggling to see the meaning behind this and how it's connected to okazaki and nagisa. okazaki had a mental thought to himself that this story sounds strangely familiar and hinted that he had heard of this story from somewhere before in one of the episodes. so then, just HOW is this fairytale relevant then if you consider the things that has happened so far? obviously, you can see some hint of okazaki being reflected in the robot as with nagisa and the girl, but what exactly about it is it that matters to the actual story of clannad as a whole?? i'm finding it really difficult to understand this concept and how it is related to any of these characters other than the fact that the girl and the robot both started their journey alone only to have found each other as time went on, which is symbolic of okazaki and nagisa. if that is all there is to it, then i have to say that i'm deeply, deeply disappointed.
anyways, i pretty much anticipated a weak ending for clannad as the last three episodes were a let down. i feel disappointed as i really, really like this series. the first half of the anime kicked off to such a good start, so i'm sad that it had to turn out like this. it really isn't all that bad, but the expectations and standards that i had for it weren't met. nonetheless, an okay show that is rewatchable.
surprise me episode 23, just surprise me. my opinion may change if it is good enough (T_T)
[edit#1] Episode 21
what's going on? after episode 18 clannad seems to be slowly pacing itself along being anticlimatic and...dull? even though there were some amusing moments here and there (like the half-hearted teasing during the baseball game at the end of ep 20), episode 21 just didn't cut it for me. the emotional impact, comedic relief and interest was just under for me. it's making me frustrated because the series is ending so bloody soon so the fact that they are just taking their time to slowly move the plot along annoys me. the way it's going right now makes me feel like i'm going to get an unsatisfying ending and it's that disappointment that i fear most. despite what other people may think, i personally really like clannad so i really don't want it to see it go downhill. right now, i can't help but forsee a weak ending. i hope that kyoani proves me wrong.
and now here are the scarce positives. i really like watching tomoya's expression towards nagisa now particularly at the beginning when they were reciting gibberish and he took a moment to pause to look her way. it's a lot softer and gentler; like a little boy staring at their idol in awe. he really admires nagisa and personally, i can see that admiration and respect for her through his expressions. however, sometimes i have to admit that i don't see what tomoya sees in nagisa. don't get me wrong, i love this pairing but i can't comprehend the degree of respect that tomoya has for her at times. this was easier to understand in the first half of the series, but now i'm finding it a little bit difficult to see what he's seeing. i also liked how tomoyo brought up the irritating little love triangle with tomoya haha. this may sound sadistic but i took great pleasure from seeing the somewhat pained expressions on kyou and ryou's face lol. kotomi looked neutral to me and i guess that's appropriate since i never really felt any romantic feelings coming from her side anyway.
but again, i have to just complain about the ridiculously choppy flow of clannad. i can't stand it. it's too abrupt for my liking and i'm really tempted to blame my lack of climax on this choppiness! the best scene that i can think of that highlighted this rigid flow would have to be toward the end when tomoya found nagisa with her parents' photos and diaries. that would have been a good time for tomoya to take the reigns, hold nagisa, comfort her and make some progress to their physical contact. but, sadly this didn't happen. he just went over to her, told her to get some rest and he'd clean up for her. then she stands up obediently, half dazed in shock and makes her way to her room. now for me, there's a lot to complain about in this scene. fist, tomoya's unemotional approach. i don't expect the guy to dote and spoil her, but at least some form of affection would be bloody nice to see. sure, he looks worried about her mental state after finding the truth about her parents but the way that he handled it just didn't work for me. he dealt with it the same way as how a person would perform a demostration drill. secondly, the lack of emotional impact. nagisa was in shock, a few tears fell down and then that was it. again, i didn't feel like there was enough emotion for me -the viewer- to empathize or even sympathize with.
and one more thing i need to note. that freaking scene of that girl and the robot that was evident from the beginning and pops up here and there. i was really hoping for more of a storyline with this - like nagisa being ill to the extent where her spirit trascended time and space (keeping in line with kotomi's arc which showed signs of parallel universes). but right now, it doesn't seem like there's a lot to this. there is still hope for it because i don't believe that nagisa just heard this story from out of no where. tomoya has also claimed that this story is familiar to him along with the feeling of him being unable to recall something, let it be important or not. based on that, there is still some hope for clannad in my books. i just pray that they have timed the conclusion of nagisa's and tomoya's story properly. i really don't want to see half-assed, rushed bullshit endings that wraps things up for the sake of fitting it into the shitty 24 episode target. i want to see a PROPER conclusion! a real ending that sums up the whole of clannad and not just tomoya's and nagisa's individual stories. MORE ROMANTIC PROGRESS WOULD ALSO BE NICE TO SEE TOO!! sigh---
oh and i don't even want to bother with the movie yet. the movie promo really put me off it - i was even hesitant to download the bloody thing. and in the promo the seiyuus sounded off to me. but i did indeed download it, all that's left is to watch it, which i'm not going to do yet. maybe i'll give it a shot when i feel like being depressed and pitiful.
after 18 episodes, i figured that i should at least make a blog about this series haha. i was going to do it when the series ended, but i got determined to write about it after watching episode 18 hahaha. from the very start, i was cheering for tomoya and nagisa all the way
 . that was one of the main reasons why i loved this series so much XD ~ their interaction was just so cute and natural. the second reason that drew me in was definitely the comedic side of things, especially between sunohara, tomoya and tomoyo haha. this trio combi never failed to get a laugh out of me~~ and lastly, the emotional factor has managed to make me cry a good bucket of tears occassionally.i found okazaki as a stand-alone character to be pretty interesting, minus the harem side of things, he wasn't a 'cliche' character in my opinion. his sarcastic and witty comebacks were just hilarious. they flowed well and never seemed forced...besides a couple of times when it left me going what-the-f*ck T_T haha. some of the most memorable moments of his pricky personality had to be in the fuko arc hahaha. he played so many random jokes on her, and when i mean random, i mean random haha. who in their right mind would think about trying to take advantage of one's weakness by sticking a straw up their nose LOL. fuko's arc had me laughing and crying at the same time. it had it's depressive moments yet the comical relief between okazaki and fuko seemed to make up for it. another reason why i liked this arc was because it was a stepping stone towards nagisa/tomoya relationship XD. fuko, having noticed the chemistry between the two forced them to try to call each other by their first name and i have to say, that was one of the most kyakya
moments in the series hahaha. their embarassment and shyness was TOO cute! thanks to that, okazaki was able to call nagisa, "nagisa" instead of furukawa highlighting a progressive step to development^^then, it was kotomi's time to tell her story which i also liked. personally, i liked the female characters that weren't in love with tomoya haha. i am pretty anti-harem so it shits me every time i have to see it. i was relieved when fuko and kotomi showed no romantic interest towards tomoya. in kotomi's case, i think she treasured her friendship with tomoya above anything else, which gave it a sweet and fresh feeling. though there was one instance where okazaki did show a subtle affection for kotomi. it was the scene where kotomi baked a pie/cake(?) for okazaki and they were eating it in the library. from memory i think that this was the first time when kotomi recited those lines, "yesterday i saw a rabbit...today i saw you", while standing at the window and having her hair blown by the wind and being stared at (with blushed cheeks) by okazaki hahaha. this was probably the only time where i thought, damn you okazaki! you better not go down the path of kotomi!! the fact that okazaki blushed made it all anxious. he's not the type of character to just blush at everything and anything. and since this happened quite early on in the series, it made me even more paranoid as his feelings were able to be swayed either way. undoubtedly he had chemistry with nagisa, but it wasn't at the stage of a romantic interest as of that time, meaning that being with nagisa wasn't guaranteed. thankfully though, this arc ended without giving me anymore heart attacks hahah.
the same goes for tomoyo. it was hinted that she showed some sort of interest for okazaki, but their connection didn't seem to transgress into a deeper and romantic level *relieved*. it was starting to annoy me a bit how the focus was specifically drawn to the image of her holding his hand and vice versa, even though the reason for it was romantically unrelated. it just irritated me because they just had to emphasize that gesture -_-;; following this, she started to go over to his place to wake him up every morning and eventually progressed onto making breakfast for him, even on the weekends. but, i can't say that i dislike her. she was bearable to watch and even more interesting when she beat the crap out of sunohara hahah. those two should just get together -_-;;
next in line, kyou and ryou. every single time i go and google clannad there seems to be wide spread support for kyou/okazaki or tomoyo/okazaki. but compared to tomoyo, kyou and ryou irritated me on a stronger level as it was so obvious that the two of them harbored affectionate feelings for him. ryou wasn't so bad, probably because she wasn't the main focus, but i wanted to slap kyou ahahha. always dragging okazaki along and interferring with him and nagisa T_T GRRR. in kyou's case, even though it was hard for her to openly support her sister's love for okazaki, her bond with ryou obviously outweighed her own happiness. if okazaki had to choose a girl that wasn't her, ryou was the only one whom she approved of. this was clearly shown toward the end of episode 18 when kyou started to show HER (not ryou's) feelings of apprehension to losing okazaki to nagisa. i have to say that i am somewhat relieved because throughout the whole series, okazaki has never shown one ounce of interest to either of them. sure, he had a close interaction with kyou but he only treated her like another 'male' friend. i don't think he ever thought about kyou in a romantic sense, which gave me -some- salvation hahaha. if okazaki was a cliche harem male lead, he would have definitely fell in love with all of them, so i'm thankful that he wasn't like this.
although i love clannad, i was starting to lose some hope for it. some of the episodes are ridiculously choppy. scenes seem to start or end abruptly giving it zero flow, at times the jokes can get pretty lame to the point of making me feel embarassed haha and the inclusion of characters that don't really serve a purpose (i.e. sunohara's sister and the random appearances of fuko). now this i have to comment on. i just don't understand the random reappearances of fuko into the series. it has been overdone in my opinion. even if they wanted to show the viewers that fuko has not been forgotten, they should have thought about some other way to intergrate her or just leave her out completely. it was funny the first couple of times but now it's just lame. it's not even funny anymore. i don't know how to descrbie my reaction other than "....." - that is just how bad it is for me.
i'm glad that the series has finally picked up again for me. during nagisa's absence it was nice to see tomoya thinking about nagisaepisode 18 was definitely the pick up point for my slump hahah. there were so many notable things to list when nagisa returned - tomoya's blank state of not knowing how to react when she came back to school, tomoya having so much fun with her while watching tomoyo play the tennis match, tomoya's defensive gesture toward the guy who accidentally injured nagisa
. this was not the first time tomoya has shown a protective nature towards nagisa. in the early stages of kotomi's arc when kotomi said that the man looking for her was a bad person, tomoya quickly fled to nagisa's side and pulled her away while holding his hand up to protect her XD~ so, slapping that tennis player's hand away from touching nagisa was the definitive answer to kyou's, ryou's and tomoyo's feelings. personally, i LOVED through flashbacks. the scene where he was sitting in the theatre club room by himself going through the moments he had with her, writing her name on the blackboard, going over to her place and just staring at the lit-up room or just having her face pop up in his mind like in episode 18 when he was in sunohara's room XD~~ it was sweet and gave me a sense of relief and understanding to his feelings :) that part hahaha. i kept rewatching it because it was conclusive! tomoyo calmly accepted the situation when she put two and two together when nagisa reintroduced herself during the tennis match, while kyou and ryou had a huge cry about it. i think the crying in public was overdone though hahaha. that one moment seemed to be so intense for the people involved, but to spectators it would have just been weird lol. kyou and ryou really balled their broken little hearts out and i can't say that i feel sorry for them hahaha. i'm so cold hearted XD;;all that's left now is tomoya and nagisa's route and then clannad will say bye-bye (;_;) i don't know if i'm ready to see this series end yet haha so we'll see how the last two arcs will fare. i have been revived and hope to stay this way or feel even more elated in the last six episodes :) January 27 ♫ Chata - Dango Daikazoku ♫so i decided to translate the ending song of CLANNAD hahaha and it's so damn cute LOL. my trans is probably way off but i can somewhat visualize this in my head hahah. i feel like a big kid~~gotta love clannad
nagisa-tomoya for the win!!!*NOTE* I didn't bother translating "dango" into dumpling, but for those of you who aren't sure of what a dango is, here's a picture --> http://www17.ocn.ne.jp/~sasaya/syashin/harunama-dango.jpg. it's really just a dumpling ball made out of mochi/sticky rice type of material with sweet fillings inside of it^^
Chata - Dango Daikazoku
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 やんちゃな焼きだんご やさしいあんだんご
すこし夢見がちな 月見だんご おすましごまだんご 四つ子串だんご みんなみんなあわせて 100人家族 年寄りだんごは目を細めてる なかよしだんご 手をつなぎ 大きなまるい輪になるよ
町をつくり だんご星の上 みんなで笑いあうよ うさぎもそらで手をふってみてる でっかいおつきさま うれしいこと 悲しいことも 全部まるめて *Repeat x 1
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 ~~~
my translation:
Chata - Big Dango Family
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
The naughty roasted dangos; the gentle red bean dangos The moon-viewing dangos that tend to dream a little The clear soup with sesame dangos; the skewer of four small dangos Everyone, everyone, let’s get together A family of 100 people
The baby dangos are always within the realm of happiness The elderly dangos fondly watch over them
The dangos that get along well; hold hands to form a big circular loop Making a city, everyone laughs with each other on top of the stars The rabbits should also try to wave their hands at the sky (to) the enormous Moon-sama* Rolling up all of the happy and sad things *Repeat x 1
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
January 01 ♫ Olivia - Starless Night ♫another NANA song ~~ man, these songs are deadly. since i've associated these songs with the sadness and angst that i felt while watching nana, i can't help but feel like absolute crap whenever i listen to them lol. sigh ~~
Olivia - Starless Night
(raw lyrics taken from gendou.com)
I reached into the sky
思いは届かなくて 小さく空に消えた 色とりどりの風船 I'm alone
行き先のない 私の手を そっとつないでくれた Starless night
過去の影 振り返らない 感じたいあなたのぬくもり Tears are falling down 迷っても離しはしない つないだあなたの手を Sometimes we fall apart
臆病になってしまうけど きっと人はそこから 何かを見つけ出せるはず Take my hand
脆く不完全な二人だから ずっと手をつないでいる Starless night
唇が弱音吐いても 信じたいあなたのぬくもり Endless love 矛盾さえ愛せてるのは You are my shining star Starless night
過去の影 振り返らない 感じたいあなたのぬくもり Tears falling down 迷っても離しはしない つないだあなたを Starless night ~~~ Olivia - Starless Night I reached into the sky
My thoughts aren't reaching you Balloons of various colors disappeared into the small sky I'm alone
There's no place to go
Your hand softly connected to mine Starless night
The shadow of the past isn't turning to look back I want to feel your warmth Tears are falling down Even if I lose my way I won't let go of your hand through which I'm connected to Sometimes we fall apart
Though we are becoming cowardly From there on people will surely be able to find something Take my hand
Because the two of us, fragile and imperfect Will always be holding hands Starless night
Even though our mouths are filled with whines and complaints I want to believe in your warmth Endless love Even if it is a contradiction to being able to love You are my shining star Starless night
The shadow of the past isn't turning to look back I want to feel your warmth Tears are falling down Even if I lose my way I won't let go of you Starless night
Even though our mouths are filled with whines and complaints I want to believe in your warmth Endless love Even if it is a contradiction to being able to love You are my shining star You are my shining star
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