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September 21 続・禁断の恋をしよう -&- 禁断の恋でいこう i just finished reading the sequel (kindan no koi de ikou) of zoku - kindan no koi wo shiyou and had to blog. it was undoubtedly one of the most purest, sweetest and all-conquering heterosexual love that i have read. it wasn't particularly dramatic, but the mangaka did a great job in portraying the classic type of love that is unshakeable and everlasting incorporating both emotional and physical intimacy. after reading this series, i can definitely see the different takes on how emotional and physical intimacy are portrayed in josei and shojo manga. anyways, this blog wasn't meant to be an indepth analysis of the series. i just really wanted to mark down how i felt after reading the last chapter. it was truly a bittersweet ending, though calling it 'bittersweet' is somewhat unjust. the theme of different lifespans between human and wolf had been prominent throughout the manga for awhile now, but i guess i didn't want to believe that the mangaka would conclude the series concretely with decades following hisako's death. i thought the series would typically end with yato and hisako physically together with the implication that hisako will one day leave yato. with that being said, i don't think the ending was horrible. it was executed well. the time slip after hisako and yato's last encounter was a little confusing, but not detrimental to my overall impression of series. at least we know that hisako kept her promise to yato that she would be with him until death, and yato's promise to be with hisako even after her death. the tombstone by the cherry blossom tree was indeed beautiful. the blooming sakura petals along with yato's yearning for hisako to take the form of a human again was melancholic yet hopeful. i guess that's where most of the beauty of this series lies. hisako could not escape death, but even so, the fact that her existence continues to live within yato and the suzui's family memories, give readers the sense that this love is far from coming to an end, literally. this portrayal is the very essence of an everlasting love, despite the loneliness of the one who lives to remember. September 20 ひみつの嵐ちゃん：井上真央only one word can describe how i feel about this episode - DISAPPOINTED! i was anticipating this episode for one whole week because -finally- we get to see mao and jun coupled together. but to my dismay, the episode was just okay, not fantastic and not particularly interesting either. it had its funny moments, but my overall impression was that arashi, mao and their producers played it extremely safe. jun was right in pointing out that 80% of mao's graph ended with SP and movie promos. this doesn't tell us a lot about her private life. i agree that some things should be kept personal but COME ON!! they could have given us something!! people were excited to see mao on himitsu arashi chan because they wanted to see some mao-jun LOVE! i personally, wanted to see another side of mao. i mean, she revealed even more on 5LDK for god's sake! i thought she would do the same for arashi but i guess not. and jun was quieter than usual. "quiet" might be the wrong word to describe him, but he was very おとなしい? i read on someone's livejournal post about their thoughts of the episode and i totally agree that the only mao-jun moment was at the beginning when the hosts said, "this two shot is amazing". jun got all shy, slightly stepped back and was looking at the ground. that was extremely cute haha, and really, it was the only moment that made me go kyaa actually. then i rewatched the end of 20090910's episode to see the preview of mao coming on himitsu and realized that they cut parts out of the episode. in the preview, you see arashi trying to appeal to mao - nino, sho and ohno doing some stupid thing in the front with jun standing at the back and aiba waving lol. WHERE WAS THAT PART?? after realizing that part was cut, it made me think - well how many other parts were cut?? her time was really short. it ended without a climax -_-;; yeah, she chose jun for the wild eating competition, but i don't see the reason why she chose aiba at the end lol. don't get me wrong - i LOVE aiba, but come on. the episode doesn't show any proof that aiba was the best candidate other than the beginning when she said that he was manly. anyways, the episode was disappointing, anti-climatic, and a let down. they played it way too safe and the atmosphere of the show was somewhat distant and reserved. she will be on shukudai-kun tomorrow night so mao-jun fans still have a chance to see some fanservice. if they are going to play it safe on shukudai-kun, then i'm going to be mega pissed. August 29 いつも何でも (千と千尋神隠し) this was harder than i expected ;_; so there will be a lot of mistakes ><;;; booooo ... sigh ... ... ... *runs* >>>>>_> いつも何度でも 作詞／覚和歌子 作曲・歌／木村 弓 呼んでいる 胸のどこか奥で いつも心踊る 夢を見たい 悲しみは 数えきれないけれど その向こうできっと あなたに会える 繰り返すあやまちの そのたびひとは ただ青い空の 青さを知る 果てしなく 道は続いて見えるけれど この両手は 光を抱ける さよならのときの 静かな胸 ゼロになるからだが 耳をすませる 生きている不思議 死んでいく不思議 花も風も街も みんなおなじ ラララララララララ・・・・・・・・・ ホホホホルルルル・・・・・・・・ 呼んでいる 胸のどこか奥で いつも何度でも 夢を描こう 悲しみの数を 言い尽くすより 同じくちびるで そっとうたおう 閉じていく思い出の そのなかにいつも 忘れたくない ささやきを聞く こなごなに砕かれた 鏡の上にも 新しい景色が 映される はじまりの朝の 静かな窓 ゼロになるからだ 充たされてゆけ 海の彼方には もう探さない 輝くものは いつもここに わたしのなかに 見つけられたから ~~~ my translation ~~~ Always, Everything Lyrics by Kaku Wakako Vocals by Kimura Yumi Somewhere within the depths of my heart is calling out I want to see a dream that always makes the heart dance The sorrow is infinite but, I can surely meet you on the other side That traveller of the spirited road that repeats over and over again* Only knows of the blueness of the blue sky And can see the road that never ends continue on but, Both of these hands will be able to embrace the light Since the calm heart of the time of farewell will vanish Listen closely The mystery of living, the mystery of dying The flowers, wind and city. Everyone is the same Lalalalala... ... ... Hohohoho ... ... ... Somewhere within the depths of my heart is calling out Let's sketch our dreams over and over again, always Rather than talking about the number of sorrows Let's sing outside with these same lips Within the memories that are sealed away, always Listen to the unforgettable whispers Also on the mirror that was smashed into small pieces A new scene is being projected The silent window of the first morning Enjoy it because it will vanish I won't look toward the other side of the ocean anymore Things that shine will always be here Because I will be able to find it within me
もののけ姫the pattern continues XD~~ghibli hehhe ♥♥♥ もののけ姫／歌詞（歌：米良美一） 作詞：宮崎駿 作曲：久石譲 はりつめた弓の ふるえる弦よ 月の光にざわめく おまえの心 とぎすまされた刃の美しい そのきっさきによく似た そなたの横顔 悲しみと怒りにひそむ まことの心を知るは 森の精 もののけ達だけ もののけ達だけ ~~~my translation~~~ Yoshikazu Mera - The Vengeful Princess The bow that trembles of the strained arrow Your heart astirs in the moonlight The beauty of the sharpened blade The profile of your face closely resembled the point of that blade Only the vengeful ghosts, only the vengeful ghosts, the spirit of the forest Understands the heart of the truth hidden in despair and anger 倍賞千恵子：世界の約束 （ハウルの動き城）so i felt the urge to translate something and decided on the ending song for howl's moving castle 'cos i've been listening to ghibli songs for the past two weeks XD~~ 歌手：倍賞千恵子 作詞：谷川俊太郎 作曲：木村弓 涙の奥にゆらぐほほえみは 時の始めからの世界の約束 いまは一人でも二人の昨日から 今日は生まれきらめく 初めて会った日のように 思い出のうちにあなたはいない そよかぜとなって頬に触れてくる 木漏れ日の午後の別れのあとも 決して終わらない世界の約束 いまは一人でも明日は限りない あなたが教えてくれた 夜にひそむやさしさ 思い出のうちにあなたはいない せせらぎの歌にこの空の色に 花の香りにいつまでも生きて ~~~my translation~~~ Baisho Chieko - The Promise of the World The wavering smile in the depths of tears is the promise of the world since the beginning of time Even though, you're by yourself now From the yesterday of our lives The 'today' will come into this world and shine Like the first day we met You are not here in my memories Feeling the gentle breeze on my cheeks And also, after the parting of the afternoon's sunlight shining through the trees The promise of the world will never come to an end Even though, you're by yourself now Tomorrow is endless You taught me the kindness hidden by the darkness You are not here in my memories In the sound of the song In the color of the sky In the smell of the flowers We will continue to live for eternity November 12 久しぶりのポスト～ARGH! MISAKI IS SO ANNOYING!!! *steaming*
i mean come on!!! episode 7 of season freaking 2 and we are still at misaki's premature developmental stage. WHAT THE FUCK. geez. i mean after all that you have been through (and done! mind you) with usagi, just freaking get on with it and stop being such a god damn pussy. and i dont understand how he can still defend sumi senpai even after witnessing sumi senpai hitting on usagi! and even being told his true intention is to get usagi T_T. i dont see how misaki can just overlook that and not react to it. he fucking pisses me off. and wtfever happened to his 'resolution' in the last episode of season 1 to seduce usagi?! -_- go die misaki.
it's been awhile since i last posted T_T..im too lazy haha although i should write my thoughts about the last batch of anime that i've seen. but i'm not going to do that tonight~~quick update on what im watching now:
junjou romantica 2!
i was so excited when it started and i am literally waiting week by week for each episode, eagerly mind you. it is still the same - lack of physical intimacy, rushed episodes and an annoying masaki. the physical intimacy really shits me. they imply rather than show way too much in my opinion. sure, it's not meant to be porn, but if they are going to include intimiate scenes then you may as well do it properly. i get the feeling that they just shove those scenes in each episode for fanservice. fanservice works, but the way that it has been included so far makes me feel like i rather not see it at all if they are going to just show it in a weak, obligatory way. the one thing about BL stories that make it exciting is the combination of emotional and physical intimacy. it gets frustrating when you have scenes that lack depth and intensity. i sometimes feel cheated almost because they are constantly building up to a climax only to end on such an anti-climatic level -_-
so far it is heavily focused on misaki/usagi. i was happy to see nowaki/hiroki come into the scene but it was so short lived. from memory, they were only shown for a mere one episode?? or two? i don't remember, but it wasn't much haha. i was disappointed because their arc in season 1 was by far the best. i hope they come back in the later episodes of this season T_T
misaki started off fine, but he's getting annoying again. you would think that by this stage that he has accepted his feelings for usagi and he should be somewhat honest about them. but no. he is still the same misaki from the beginning of season 1 who refuses to accept usagi completely. whatever happened to his resolve to push usagi down and seduce him?!? he's definitely not making any progress with that resolution at the rate he is going now. i don't even think he has clearly voiced a simple "i love you" to usagi yet in this season. his self-narrations about his feelings toward usagi has certainly increased, and because of that we as viewers know that he has embraced his feelings for usagi to some extent. that's fine, but i don't see the point of verbalizing his feelings to us - the viewers. he should be articulating it TO USAGI for god's sake. we get the point! misaki cares for usagi! but usagi doesn't know the extent of how much misaki cares for him yet -_- and that is the most annoying part of it. usagi is constantly conveying his feelings to misaki. it's almost pitiful that he doesn't receive the same amount of emotional security back.
i never ended up finishing this XD;; it just became boring.
i never finished this one either haha. it was just crap.
skip beat - typical shoujo story. i like it, but i love spoilers so i went and wiki'd the summaries. i just don't like how there's no guarantee that kyoko and ren will get together. finished watching this, but clearly, it’s incomplete so i found the manga and started following that instead. the manga is great XD funny and has more kyoko-ren love~~! the manga is ongoing so unfortunately, their relationship still has a looong way to go T_T
nodame cantabile paris-hen - FANTASTIC. i love it. you must be insane to not like this series :D pity, that it is only a 12 ep series this season T_T am waiting for third season baby!!
totally gave up on this. didn’t bother with this after i wrote this post.
just waiting for more animated BL now XD~~~! April 25 fufufu[edit #4] SO MUCH LOVE!
although ep 12 started off quite slowly, it really redeemed itself after misaki -finally- told usagi how he felt in regards to him being the only one who doesn't know anything about usagi's family, past or work. that was a really sweet 'confession' hehehehe and his shyness was conveyed beautifully in my opinion. and it wasn't one of those awkward, lame "きゃー、恥ずかしい…えへ" kinda moments either. i could feel misaki's embarrassment and actually imagine how he was feeling in that particular scene. absolutely fantastic. i also liked how it was followed up with usagi leaning in toward misaki from behind and telling him that isaka was in fact his brother's friend and that his relationship with his family wasn't great. it was that very act of closing into misaki was just so much love *-* hehehehe *smiley*
and for some reason, the kissing scenes in this episode were more entertaining to watch as well. i guess it just fitted well with the situation - a sweet, embarrassing, full of love context really brings out the intensity of the kiss to a greater extent, i think :D it was also nice to see misaki being determined to take the initiative for once too! it was so adorable how he continued trying to take control of the moment wanting to -give- something to usagi, while his hands were shaking uncontrollably hehehe. this was the first time (in the series) where i actually thought that misaki was loveable lol. even prior to this scene, the part where he was asking usagi what he wanted in celebration of winning the literary award was sooo cute to watch too! he was totally saying everything that he was thinking aloud hahaha, like "it'd be nice if it wasn't anything too expensive. BUT OH and i get paid in two weeks' time so it would be even better if you could wait until then! AND OH! i will get around to reading that book!..." lol he was basically having a conversation with himself not knowing when to stop, making the things that he was saying seem even more genuine and sincere *-*
the most きゃーー scene for me would have to be when (yes i liked it so much i tried to transcribe it again lol) -->「受賞祝いにほしいものがある」>「な、何」>「お前」
rather than what was said, it was the -way- that it was said that made me fall over die 100 times. misaki's flushed face and gentle voice asking akihiko what, only to have akihiko say "you" in that deep, husky and seductive manner that just takes your breath away *-* heheheheh. *sigh* i'm satisfied.
this was when i thought, ah -- no wonder this is called junjou romantica. i can totally see the pureness of the love portrayed in not only akihiko/misaki but also the other two pairings <3
i know that i'm reusing the words "cute" and "adorable" a lot in this post but i cannot help it! hahah i don't know how to describe such a CUTE feeling lol. it was a great episode. i really, really hope that this is NOT the end! i will be devastated if they never come back with a second season. episode 12 clearly did not end in a conclusive way and there is still so much more left to tell - akihiko's relation with his brother, the drama that his brother stirrs up and the miyagi/shinobu development.
there really wasn't enough time allocated to miyagi/shinobu pairing. it was like, here's the present moment > here's miyagi's past > reach an understanding > hook up. they dealt with that in a mere two episodes! it pretty much took one whole episode for the arc to be introduced, meaning that it took one episode for them to get together then reach a conclusion. i really did not feel any development or closure with this couple. it didn't even come close to the kamijou/nowaki development. i am content with kamijou/nowaki at the moment, although i would like to see more of them. but even if there aren't anymore full episodes dedicated to them, i can still say that i feel satisfied. this is certainly not the case with miyagi/shinobu though. and the development between akihiko/misaki is JUST beginning so there is absolutely no way that i can feel happy about leaving things unfinished now!! impossible!!
i hope a second season will come!! if it doesn't then i will be pained beyond belief *wails*
[edit #3] "..."
so ep 10 is the beginning of the miyagi/shinobu arc. since it just started, i don't have much of an opinion about it yet other than i cannot stand shinobu. maybe he will grow on me later but right now, i find his character kinda annoying. mainly because of the style of speech he uses. even though it is normal for male characters to use 「俺」、「～じゃねー」type of speech, but for some reason i find it extremely irritating when shinobu uses it. i think it also has to do with the tone and emphasis that the seiyuu puts on it, making it seem even stronger and childish as it needs to be. that is exactly what my impression of shinobu is right now - childish. sure, he's a 17 year old high school kid, but the problem lies more with his "i am so hardcore" attitude. it just annoyed me a lot. and i can't really understand his ways of reasoning - why does miyagi have to take responsibility of his (present) unrequited love? -_-;; and the line he said toward the end of the episode when he made the relation between miyagi's favorite book (?) and his name was stupid too. i don't know if it was a book or an author, but it was something or someone who miyagi admired. and it so happens that a character of shinobu's name can be read in the same way too, which is why he said that "you will come to like me too" ... -_-;; the expression that miyagi had after he said that was exactly what i was feeling and if i had to describe it now, then there is no other way to describe it other than "..."
on a more positive note, i was happy to get a peek into miyagi's past. it's almost as if he doesn't want to go through the hardships of losing a loved one again, as he did with the woman in the wheelchair. im guessing she ended up dying in the end. i guess we'll find out more later~~
anyways like i said, it was just the beginning of the arc, so it'll probably pick up in the next couple of episodes *hopefully*. reedeem yourself junjou romantica!
[edit #2] mmm....
i guess after the impact of the nowaki/kamijou arc, the series decided to go for a more toned down approach before they introduce a new arc. i didn't find ep 7 and 8 particularly interesting nor did i find it boring. i was satisfied with it, but it wasn't quite there for me. it was really just the issue about takahiro wanting to take misaki back so that he can give him the warmth of a family.
i think the reason why i think these eps weren't 100% was the fact that both usagi and misaki were starting to become the type of characters that i don't particularly like. they didn't verbalize their thoughts and desires to each other, regardless of how selfish it may be. in circumstances like those, true feelings should just be conveyed rather than thinking "oh no if i say that then he might think i am an inconvenience" etc. if they don't communicate what they want from each other, they'll begin to assume (the wrong things) then draw the wrong conclusions.
it's kinda starting to reflect a heterosexual relationship to me. in my eyes, i think that misaki is really taking on a feminine role. he holds back what he wants to say/do a lot, thinks a lot to himself without actually conveying thoughts (that he should convey!) to usagi, and is becoming a little too fragile and passive for my liking. i may be wrong, but in most cases usagi is the one who takes the initiative in expressing how he feels through his words and actions. that pattern of behavior was quite clear in ep 8. sure, misaki tried to take the initiative by asking if he could leave his stuff at usagi's house etc., but typically he took back what he said and treated it like a joke. only when he starts to cry is when usagi finally finds the resolve to take action and go to where misaki is, where he then embraces him and tells misaki how he really feels - 「渡さない。たかひろにも誰にもどこにも行かせない」- "i won't hand you over to takahiro or anybody else. i won't let you go anywhere". now that pretty much sums up everything and answers all of misaki's insecurities. in that sense, i don't know why but i really see misaki to be extremely passive. it's like without usagi's prompt, misaki will refuse to honestly express what he really wants.
anyways, im getting more and more confused as to how i feel with this series as i continue to write this lol. i guess overall, ep 7 and 8 were really sweet episodes. there were a lot of scenes where i fawned and flailed over lol. but it just wasn't up to par for me. like i said, this is probably because of the emotional impact that the nowaki/kamijou arc had on me, so obviously if i compare this 'mini arc' to the previous one, then this mini arc is definitely going to lose haha. but i suppose it's a good way to calm the viewers down before they go straight into another story.
another thing i have to mention though is the sex scenes. the movement is way too stiff for my liking (e.g. the beginning of ep 8 when usagi pushes misaki down after he takes the laundry in) and it is wayyy too implied (the train). even if they can't show explicit scenes, a little bit more detail would have been nice i guess. cos right now i feel like they are just throwing in a sex scene for the sake of it. i can't exactly feel the love and desire for one another when they do make love (T_T)
[edit #1] 「やかましい！俺宛てなら、俺のもんだ！」
KYAA~~!! omg hahah i am in love with junjou romantica right now. episode 6 was so intense, angsty yet so much LOVE at the same time *-* the nowaki/kamijou arc was totally an emotional rollercoaster! i was so anxious to see how their relationship was going to turn out...there were so many instances where i thought, crap, this isn't going to work...they're going to part *cries* but i was so happy when they both finally expressed their insecurities to each other XD
and the end of the episode was just so cute!! how kamijou insisted on keeping the letters that nowaki wrote ;D and nowaki's response as to why he didn't throw out the letters hahaha 「ヒロさんの名前が書いたあるのに捨てられません」 XD and i found it hilarious when nowaki was reluctantly reading one of his letters and how kamijou was like what kind of play is that *freaks out* 「やめんか！なんのプレーだそれは！」 hahahaha SOOOOO CUTTTEEEE~~!! and it was so adorable how kamijou welcomed nowaki home at the end *-* fixing his hair only to mess it up out of frustration and to pretend that he doesn't care haha. and how he blushed when he said okaeri *-* hehhehe. i feel so relieved now! i've been waiting all week for this episode just to find out what was going to happen to them. having a laugh at the end of all that angst is truly the best feeling ever XD
ok i've decided to compile a list of the lines that made me smile uncontrollably in this episode haha. it was just too sweet *-* some parts of the sentence may be wrong since i tried to transcribe them from listening to the raw anime ^^;; it's as close as i can get it XD ~ and now i feel like translating them too XD it's context and timing related haha...which is why some lines may sound odd or dull haha. it has a bigger impact when you watch it ;D
「いいかげんにしやがれ！ 俺はお前に会ってから全てむちゃくちゃなんだ。 一番なりたくね人間になってんだ！…お前なんかに会わなきゃ俺はもっと冷静な人間でいられたんだ…好きだ。好き。好きだ。好きなんだよ！好きで悪いか！ちくしょう！バカ野郎！何でお前なんかに…最悪だ。最悪すぎる！」
「絶対なんてありえないかもしれません。だけど、はっきりしていることは俺はヒロさん以上に好きになる人はいない」
「自分がその人の一番なら、それはどんなに嬉しいことなんかと。だめなんだ。こいつじゃないと…俺は…野分ではないと」
「傷つけて、傷つけられても、嫌いになるどころか…形残ってしまいばいいなんだ。そうすれば、お前は俺を忘れなくなる…」
「こんなにも、こんなにも、誰かを好きになって…俺はもう二度とこんな恋はしない」
「ヒロさんに会いたい。会いたい。会いたい。ヒロさんが好きです」
「やかましい！俺宛てなら、俺のもんだ！」
「ヒロさんの名前が書いたあるのに捨てられません」
「やめんか！なんのプレーだそれは！」
junjou romantica - pretty art but a little bit deformed at times, pace is a tad too fast, but overall so far so good
itazurana kiss - i was excited about this, but it isn't fantastic unfortunately. still going to continue with it.
special a - i was excited about this as well. compared to itazurana kiss, the art is better but hikari annoys me T_T
and for those who are interested, my japan blog is here - http://itsjesslyn.blogspot.com/
February 18 ♥ Clannad ♥[edit #3] Episode 23
i figured i better finish off my blog for clannad. episode 23 was bloody great. the series definitely redeemed itself in my books after watching this. though i would have preferred at least ONE kiss to end off the series, but i guess i was somewhat content with the material that i was given with. there were so many cute moments here, but, nagisa was a little too frigid for my liking though haha. the best scene for them to insert a kiss would have been on the bench toward the end XD~~ how nagisa was blowing into tomoya's face HEHEHHEHE. that was sooo kyaaa----!! i was like omg omg omg, tomoya - lean in and attack!! this unfortunately did not happen and i don't understand why haha. damn you kyoani!! but the last scene of them standing with their shadows in the sunset was just beautiful. it was a really soft and gentle way to end it leaving you with a smile.
so the bottom line is - i totally recommend this. i admit that some episodes aren't to par, but the overall experience was great. a really gentle, cute and humorous love story (even though it was based on a H-game >_> haha) that is undoubtedly going on my favorites list <3
[edit #2] Episode 22
i'm really confused as to whether ep 22 is the 'last' episode for clannad or not. next week's episode (ep 23) is clearly an extra filler so i doubt that it will do any justice to the conclusion and i have absolutely no idea what ep 24 is going to about. but anyways, putting this confusion aside, episode 22 was under for me again.
the first half of the series was extremely long winded. nagisa's depression kept dragging on to the point where i got frustrated. just get over it! far out. i was annoyed. nothing's going to happen if you just continue to dwell on something that you can't change now. so anyways, that was a put off for me and not a very good way to start off my mood to the episode.
by far, the most emotional part of this episode was akio's outburst. his little speech touched me and really wow'ed me as well. it had an impact, which was what clannad has been lacking for the last three episodes. it has been so dull lately in my opinion. though it was a good scene, i can't help but feel that kyoani seems to LOVE having personal affairs being dealt with in public. i mean...i felt that awkward atmosphere again. these public scenes first started off with okazaki and nagisa balling their eyes out during the fuko arc at her sister's wedding, which was bloody awkward for me. then comes along kyou and ryou's outburst during the tomoyo's tennis match, and now akio's outburst with a pinch of okazaki and sanae in the theatre hall. out of all three, akio's speech probably affected me the most. it was just great.
then we have the confession. i thought it was a bit rushed. i would have actually liked to see them go on a date rather than seeing still frames. i could feel the tension, embarassment and courage that okazaki mustered up in order to confess to nagisa, which did have an impact on me to some degree. BUT, clearly it wasn't enough. i expected the same amount of shock, happiness and relief from nagisa to compliment the anxiety that i felt from okazaki. all nagisa did was give that classical "eh?" then cry without saying anything. surrreeee - there was obviously some unspoken connection and mutual agreement between the two of them, but they could have at least VERBALIZED something! i was also hoping for some physical contact as well - i mean at least give each other a HUG to celebrate this moment rather than just stand there like a brick wall!! *lets out a long and frustrated sigh* and because this confession took place sooo far down the track, i couldn't feel the excitement and love between the two anymore. they definitely became closer and more comfortable with each other, but that love, that SPARK, that CHEMISTRY just wasn't there for me unfortunately.
let's also not forget - okazaki's story. please, oh please do not tell me that his 'story' had been concluded with that pathetic line that he said to his dad, "don't drink too much". fair enough, his dad turned back with a somewhat surprised expression, which to some degree suggests that the relationship between this father and son is progressing, even if it is slow. but come on, how pathetic! all okazaki really did was move out of home to give him and his father some space, then only to have his 'story' pushed aside and half-heartedly returned to by that 10s appearance of his father at the high school festival. *sigh*
oh, and that story of that girl and the robot - WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT ABOUT?? seriously. i cannot pinpoint what purpose that whole story served. it was introduced at the very beginning of the series and i find it rather ridiculous that the whole point of that was just to give nagisa a story to perform. i felt like this was going to be apart of a larger plot; something that mattered. i'm struggling to see the meaning behind this and how it's connected to okazaki and nagisa. okazaki had a mental thought to himself that this story sounds strangely familiar and hinted that he had heard of this story from somewhere before in one of the episodes. so then, just HOW is this fairytale relevant then if you consider the things that has happened so far? obviously, you can see some hint of okazaki being reflected in the robot as with nagisa and the girl, but what exactly about it is it that matters to the actual story of clannad as a whole?? i'm finding it really difficult to understand this concept and how it is related to any of these characters other than the fact that the girl and the robot both started their journey alone only to have found each other as time went on, which is symbolic of okazaki and nagisa. if that is all there is to it, then i have to say that i'm deeply, deeply disappointed.
anyways, i pretty much anticipated a weak ending for clannad as the last three episodes were a let down. i feel disappointed as i really, really like this series. the first half of the anime kicked off to such a good start, so i'm sad that it had to turn out like this. it really isn't all that bad, but the expectations and standards that i had for it weren't met. nonetheless, an okay show that is rewatchable.
surprise me episode 23, just surprise me. my opinion may change if it is good enough (T_T)
[edit#1] Episode 21
what's going on? after episode 18 clannad seems to be slowly pacing itself along being anticlimatic and...dull? even though there were some amusing moments here and there (like the half-hearted teasing during the baseball game at the end of ep 20), episode 21 just didn't cut it for me. the emotional impact, comedic relief and interest was just under for me. it's making me frustrated because the series is ending so bloody soon so the fact that they are just taking their time to slowly move the plot along annoys me. the way it's going right now makes me feel like i'm going to get an unsatisfying ending and it's that disappointment that i fear most. despite what other people may think, i personally really like clannad so i really don't want it to see it go downhill. right now, i can't help but forsee a weak ending. i hope that kyoani proves me wrong.
and now here are the scarce positives. i really like watching tomoya's expression towards nagisa now particularly at the beginning when they were reciting gibberish and he took a moment to pause to look her way. it's a lot softer and gentler; like a little boy staring at their idol in awe. he really admires nagisa and personally, i can see that admiration and respect for her through his expressions. however, sometimes i have to admit that i don't see what tomoya sees in nagisa. don't get me wrong, i love this pairing but i can't comprehend the degree of respect that tomoya has for her at times. this was easier to understand in the first half of the series, but now i'm finding it a little bit difficult to see what he's seeing. i also liked how tomoyo brought up the irritating little love triangle with tomoya haha. this may sound sadistic but i took great pleasure from seeing the somewhat pained expressions on kyou and ryou's face lol. kotomi looked neutral to me and i guess that's appropriate since i never really felt any romantic feelings coming from her side anyway.
but again, i have to just complain about the ridiculously choppy flow of clannad. i can't stand it. it's too abrupt for my liking and i'm really tempted to blame my lack of climax on this choppiness! the best scene that i can think of that highlighted this rigid flow would have to be toward the end when tomoya found nagisa with her parents' photos and diaries. that would have been a good time for tomoya to take the reigns, hold nagisa, comfort her and make some progress to their physical contact. but, sadly this didn't happen. he just went over to her, told her to get some rest and he'd clean up for her. then she stands up obediently, half dazed in shock and makes her way to her room. now for me, there's a lot to complain about in this scene. fist, tomoya's unemotional approach. i don't expect the guy to dote and spoil her, but at least some form of affection would be bloody nice to see. sure, he looks worried about her mental state after finding the truth about her parents but the way that he handled it just didn't work for me. he dealt with it the same way as how a person would perform a demostration drill. secondly, the lack of emotional impact. nagisa was in shock, a few tears fell down and then that was it. again, i didn't feel like there was enough emotion for me -the viewer- to empathize or even sympathize with.
and one more thing i need to note. that freaking scene of that girl and the robot that was evident from the beginning and pops up here and there. i was really hoping for more of a storyline with this - like nagisa being ill to the extent where her spirit trascended time and space (keeping in line with kotomi's arc which showed signs of parallel universes). but right now, it doesn't seem like there's a lot to this. there is still hope for it because i don't believe that nagisa just heard this story from out of no where. tomoya has also claimed that this story is familiar to him along with the feeling of him being unable to recall something, let it be important or not. based on that, there is still some hope for clannad in my books. i just pray that they have timed the conclusion of nagisa's and tomoya's story properly. i really don't want to see half-assed, rushed bullshit endings that wraps things up for the sake of fitting it into the shitty 24 episode target. i want to see a PROPER conclusion! a real ending that sums up the whole of clannad and not just tomoya's and nagisa's individual stories. MORE ROMANTIC PROGRESS WOULD ALSO BE NICE TO SEE TOO!! sigh---
oh and i don't even want to bother with the movie yet. the movie promo really put me off it - i was even hesitant to download the bloody thing. and in the promo the seiyuus sounded off to me. but i did indeed download it, all that's left is to watch it, which i'm not going to do yet. maybe i'll give it a shot when i feel like being depressed and pitiful.
after 18 episodes, i figured that i should at least make a blog about this series haha. i was going to do it when the series ended, but i got determined to write about it after watching episode 18 hahaha. from the very start, i was cheering for tomoya and nagisa all the way
 . that was one of the main reasons why i loved this series so much XD ~ their interaction was just so cute and natural. the second reason that drew me in was definitely the comedic side of things, especially between sunohara, tomoya and tomoyo haha. this trio combi never failed to get a laugh out of me~~ and lastly, the emotional factor has managed to make me cry a good bucket of tears occassionally.i found okazaki as a stand-alone character to be pretty interesting, minus the harem side of things, he wasn't a 'cliche' character in my opinion. his sarcastic and witty comebacks were just hilarious. they flowed well and never seemed forced...besides a couple of times when it left me going what-the-f*ck T_T haha. some of the most memorable moments of his pricky personality had to be in the fuko arc hahaha. he played so many random jokes on her, and when i mean random, i mean random haha. who in their right mind would think about trying to take advantage of one's weakness by sticking a straw up their nose LOL. fuko's arc had me laughing and crying at the same time. it had it's depressive moments yet the comical relief between okazaki and fuko seemed to make up for it. another reason why i liked this arc was because it was a stepping stone towards nagisa/tomoya relationship XD. fuko, having noticed the chemistry between the two forced them to try to call each other by their first name and i have to say, that was one of the most kyakya
moments in the series hahaha. their embarassment and shyness was TOO cute! thanks to that, okazaki was able to call nagisa, "nagisa" instead of furukawa highlighting a progressive step to development^^then, it was kotomi's time to tell her story which i also liked. personally, i liked the female characters that weren't in love with tomoya haha. i am pretty anti-harem so it shits me every time i have to see it. i was relieved when fuko and kotomi showed no romantic interest towards tomoya. in kotomi's case, i think she treasured her friendship with tomoya above anything else, which gave it a sweet and fresh feeling. though there was one instance where okazaki did show a subtle affection for kotomi. it was the scene where kotomi baked a pie/cake(?) for okazaki and they were eating it in the library. from memory i think that this was the first time when kotomi recited those lines, "yesterday i saw a rabbit...today i saw you", while standing at the window and having her hair blown by the wind and being stared at (with blushed cheeks) by okazaki hahaha. this was probably the only time where i thought, damn you okazaki! you better not go down the path of kotomi!! the fact that okazaki blushed made it all anxious. he's not the type of character to just blush at everything and anything. and since this happened quite early on in the series, it made me even more paranoid as his feelings were able to be swayed either way. undoubtedly he had chemistry with nagisa, but it wasn't at the stage of a romantic interest as of that time, meaning that being with nagisa wasn't guaranteed. thankfully though, this arc ended without giving me anymore heart attacks hahah.
the same goes for tomoyo. it was hinted that she showed some sort of interest for okazaki, but their connection didn't seem to transgress into a deeper and romantic level *relieved*. it was starting to annoy me a bit how the focus was specifically drawn to the image of her holding his hand and vice versa, even though the reason for it was romantically unrelated. it just irritated me because they just had to emphasize that gesture -_-;; following this, she started to go over to his place to wake him up every morning and eventually progressed onto making breakfast for him, even on the weekends. but, i can't say that i dislike her. she was bearable to watch and even more interesting when she beat the crap out of sunohara hahah. those two should just get together -_-;;
next in line, kyou and ryou. every single time i go and google clannad there seems to be wide spread support for kyou/okazaki or tomoyo/okazaki. but compared to tomoyo, kyou and ryou irritated me on a stronger level as it was so obvious that the two of them harbored affectionate feelings for him. ryou wasn't so bad, probably because she wasn't the main focus, but i wanted to slap kyou ahahha. always dragging okazaki along and interferring with him and nagisa T_T GRRR. in kyou's case, even though it was hard for her to openly support her sister's love for okazaki, her bond with ryou obviously outweighed her own happiness. if okazaki had to choose a girl that wasn't her, ryou was the only one whom she approved of. this was clearly shown toward the end of episode 18 when kyou started to show HER (not ryou's) feelings of apprehension to losing okazaki to nagisa. i have to say that i am somewhat relieved because throughout the whole series, okazaki has never shown one ounce of interest to either of them. sure, he had a close interaction with kyou but he only treated her like another 'male' friend. i don't think he ever thought about kyou in a romantic sense, which gave me -some- salvation hahaha. if okazaki was a cliche harem male lead, he would have definitely fell in love with all of them, so i'm thankful that he wasn't like this.
although i love clannad, i was starting to lose some hope for it. some of the episodes are ridiculously choppy. scenes seem to start or end abruptly giving it zero flow, at times the jokes can get pretty lame to the point of making me feel embarassed haha and the inclusion of characters that don't really serve a purpose (i.e. sunohara's sister and the random appearances of fuko). now this i have to comment on. i just don't understand the random reappearances of fuko into the series. it has been overdone in my opinion. even if they wanted to show the viewers that fuko has not been forgotten, they should have thought about some other way to intergrate her or just leave her out completely. it was funny the first couple of times but now it's just lame. it's not even funny anymore. i don't know how to descrbie my reaction other than "....." - that is just how bad it is for me.
i'm glad that the series has finally picked up again for me. during nagisa's absence it was nice to see tomoya thinking about nagisaepisode 18 was definitely the pick up point for my slump hahah. there were so many notable things to list when nagisa returned - tomoya's blank state of not knowing how to react when she came back to school, tomoya having so much fun with her while watching tomoyo play the tennis match, tomoya's defensive gesture toward the guy who accidentally injured nagisa
. this was not the first time tomoya has shown a protective nature towards nagisa. in the early stages of kotomi's arc when kotomi said that the man looking for her was a bad person, tomoya quickly fled to nagisa's side and pulled her away while holding his hand up to protect her XD~ so, slapping that tennis player's hand away from touching nagisa was the definitive answer to kyou's, ryou's and tomoyo's feelings. personally, i LOVED through flashbacks. the scene where he was sitting in the theatre club room by himself going through the moments he had with her, writing her name on the blackboard, going over to her place and just staring at the lit-up room or just having her face pop up in his mind like in episode 18 when he was in sunohara's room XD~~ it was sweet and gave me a sense of relief and understanding to his feelings :) that part hahaha. i kept rewatching it because it was conclusive! tomoyo calmly accepted the situation when she put two and two together when nagisa reintroduced herself during the tennis match, while kyou and ryou had a huge cry about it. i think the crying in public was overdone though hahaha. that one moment seemed to be so intense for the people involved, but to spectators it would have just been weird lol. kyou and ryou really balled their broken little hearts out and i can't say that i feel sorry for them hahaha. i'm so cold hearted XD;;all that's left now is tomoya and nagisa's route and then clannad will say bye-bye (;_;) i don't know if i'm ready to see this series end yet haha so we'll see how the last two arcs will fare. i have been revived and hope to stay this way or feel even more elated in the last six episodes :) January 27 ♫ Chata - Dango Daikazoku ♫so i decided to translate the ending song of CLANNAD hahaha and it's so damn cute LOL. my trans is probably way off but i can somewhat visualize this in my head hahah. i feel like a big kid~~gotta love clannad
nagisa-tomoya for the win!!!*NOTE* I didn't bother translating "dango" into dumpling, but for those of you who aren't sure of what a dango is, here's a picture --> http://www17.ocn.ne.jp/~sasaya/syashin/harunama-dango.jpg. it's really just a dumpling ball made out of mochi/sticky rice type of material with sweet fillings inside of it^^
Chata - Dango Daikazoku
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 やんちゃな焼きだんご やさしいあんだんご
すこし夢見がちな 月見だんご おすましごまだんご 四つ子串だんご みんなみんなあわせて 100人家族 年寄りだんごは目を細めてる なかよしだんご 手をつなぎ 大きなまるい輪になるよ
町をつくり だんご星の上 みんなで笑いあうよ うさぎもそらで手をふってみてる でっかいおつきさま うれしいこと 悲しいことも 全部まるめて *Repeat x 1
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族
だんご だんご だんご だんご だんご 大家族 ~~~
my translation:
Chata - Big Dango Family
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
The naughty roasted dangos; the gentle red bean dangos The moon-viewing dangos that tend to dream a little The clear soup with sesame dangos; the skewer of four small dangos Everyone, everyone, let’s get together A family of 100 people
The baby dangos are always within the realm of happiness The elderly dangos fondly watch over them
The dangos that get along well; hold hands to form a big circular loop Making a city, everyone laughs with each other on top of the stars The rabbits should also try to wave their hands at the sky (to) the enormous Moon-sama* Rolling up all of the happy and sad things *Repeat x 1
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
Dango x 6, big dango family Dango x 5, big dango family
January 01 ♫ Olivia - Starless Night ♫another NANA song ~~ man, these songs are deadly. since i've associated these songs with the sadness and angst that i felt while watching nana, i can't help but feel like absolute crap whenever i listen to them lol. sigh ~~
Olivia - Starless Night
(raw lyrics taken from gendou.com)
I reached into the sky
思いは届かなくて 小さく空に消えた 色とりどりの風船 I'm alone
行き先のない 私の手を そっとつないでくれた Starless night
過去の影 振り返らない 感じたいあなたのぬくもり Tears are falling down 迷っても離しはしない つないだあなたの手を Sometimes we fall apart
臆病になってしまうけど きっと人はそこから 何かを見つけ出せるはず Take my hand
脆く不完全な二人だから ずっと手をつないでいる Starless night
唇が弱音吐いても 信じたいあなたのぬくもり Endless love 矛盾さえ愛せてるのは You are my shining star Starless night
過去の影 振り返らない 感じたいあなたのぬくもり Tears falling down 迷っても離しはしない つないだあなたを Starless night ~~~ Olivia - Starless Night I reached into the sky
My thoughts aren't reaching you Balloons of various colors disappeared into the small sky I'm alone
There's no place to go
Your hand softly connected to mine Starless night
The shadow of the past isn't turning to look back I want to feel your warmth Tears are falling down Even if I lose my way I won't let go of your hand through which I'm connected to Sometimes we fall apart
Though we are becoming cowardly From there on people will surely be able to find something Take my hand
Because the two of us, fragile and imperfect Will always be holding hands Starless night
Even though our mouths are filled with whines and complaints I want to believe in your warmth Endless love Even if it is a contradiction to being able to love You are my shining star Starless night
The shadow of the past isn't turning to look back I want to feel your warmth Tears are falling down Even if I lose my way I won't let go of you Starless night
Even though our mouths are filled with whines and complaints I want to believe in your warmth Endless love Even if it is a contradiction to being able to love You are my shining star You are my shining star
December 28 ♫ Kaori Hikita - みちゆき ♫i love this ED song *-* before knowing what the song was about, the melody and the way that it was sung stimulated a lot of sadness within me when i first heard it. that goes without saying that it still has the same effect on me now^^;; since i liked it so much i decided to translate it haha. i took a lot of liberties with the translation though haha...so some parts might be a bit far fetched XD ~ i don't even know if it's right but i guess i made it make sense LOL. anyways, here it is. the ED for LOVELESS
Kaori Hikita - みちゆき
(raw lyrics taken from gendou.com)
切なさの限りまで抱きしめても
いつまでもひとつには なれなくて 優しさより深い場所で 触れ合うのは痛みだけ 二人を結んでください 僕等はもう夢を見ない
戸惑いながら手を取って 残酷な夜明けの方へ 歩き出す 本当の言葉はきっと
本当の世界のどこか 僕等の無口な夜に 潜んでる 今もきっと 寂しさを知る為に出逢うのだと
口付けを交わすまで知らなくて それでも今 君と逢えた 喜びに震えている 心を支えてください 僕等はもう夢を見ない
暖かい場所へ逃げない 残酷な夜明けをきっと 越えてゆく 諦めてた その静けさ
本当の言葉をきっと 愛し 傷付け合う為に 探し出す いつかきっと 切なさの限りまで抱きしめても
いつまでもひとつには なれなくて 夜明け前の冷たい星 二人だけのみちゆきを どうか照らしてください ~~~
my translation:
Kaori Hikita - Michiyuki (Path)
Even though we are holding each other until our longing is confined
We can't become one forever
Reaching the deep place
Rather than kindness, there is only pain
Please tie the two of us together
We aren't dreaming anymore
Holding hands while losing our way
We walk out towards the cruel dawn
The truth is certainly somewhere in the real world
Even now, we are surely still hiding in our reticent night
I didn't know until exchanging a kiss
When we first met by chance
That it was for the sake of experiencing loneliness
Even so, I'm happy to have met you
Please support my heart
We aren't dreaming anymore
We aren't running away to a warm place
The cruel dawn is surely passing over
That silence has given up
For the sake of hurting each other's love
Someday, we will surely find out the truth
Even though we are holding each other until our longing is confined
We can't become one forever
Before the cold stars of the dawn
I beg you to shine upon the path only for the two of us*
December 26 ♫ Anna Tsuchiya - 黒い涙♫so i felt like doing another song from NANA and here it is ~ this one took a lot longer to do. too many unfamiliar kanji (T_T) my translation is probably off too haha sigh
Anna Tsuchiya - 黒い涙
(raw lyrics taken from gendou.com)
明日なんて来ないようにと
願った夜 数え切れない 夢も愛も失くし 雨に打たれたまま 泣いてる… 飾りつけないで
このままの私で生きてゆくため 何が必要 自分さえ信じれず 何を信じたらいいの 答えは近すぎて見えない 黒い涙 流す
私には何もなくて 悲しすぎて 言葉にさえならなくて 体中が痛み出して 耐えられない ひとりでは 夜中に泣きつかれて
描いた 自分じゃない自分の顔 弱さを隠したまま 笑顔を作るのは止めよう… 飾りつけないで
生きてゆくことはこの世で一番 ムズカシイコト? あなたからもらうなら形のないものがいい 壊れるものはもう いらない * 黒い涙 流し 叫んでも
知らぬ顔で明日は来て 同じ痛みにぶつかる そんな日々を続けるなら 遠く 消えてしまいたい わがままと わかっても… 黒い涙 流す
私には何もなくて 悲しすぎて 言葉にさえならなくて 体中が痛み出して * repeat
~~~
my translation:
Anna Tsuchiya - Kuroi Namida (Black Tears)
If only tomorrow doesn't come
Then the nights that we hoped for would be countless
Love and dreams are lost
Crying like I was struck by the rain
Without showing*
For the sake of living with the way that I am
What is necessary
Believing only in myself*
What should I believe in?
The answer is so close that I can't see it
Black tears are pouring out
There is nothing for me and it's too sad
It can't be expressed even in words*
The pain runs throughout my body
I can't bear it alone
Tired from crying in the middle of the night
The face that is painted isn't me
Hiding my weaknesses this way
Let's stop doing things like forcing ourselves to smile
Without showing*
(Is) the best way to continue living in this world
Difficult things?
If it's from you then something without a shape or form would be good
I don't want things that can be broken anymore
Black tears are pouring out and even though I'm shouting out
I pretend to not know that tomorrow is coming
Running into the same pain
If these kind of days are continuing
I want to disappear to a place far away
Even though I know it's selfish
Black tears are pouring out
There is nothing for me and it's too sad
It can't be expressed even in words*
The pain runs throughout my body
I can't bear it alone
[Notes]
♫ Olivia - A Little Pain ♫so i finally watched NANA (anime) and i have to say - DAMN DEPRESSING. despite the angst and frustration, the plot and characters motivated me to watch it until the end. and as expected, the ending left me empty, hollow and mellow. then i went to take a peek at the manga and that just crushed me even more lol sigh. relationships are getting more complicated and feelings are slowly fading =_= sigh. i really can't forsee a happy ending at all.
nevertheless, i really liked the music so i decided to translate it <3 this one wasn't too bad since it had a lot of english in it haha yey
 ~~ anyways here it is^^Olivia - A Little Pain
(raw lyrics taken from gendou.com)
Travel to the moon 君は眠り夢を解く
誰もいない 星の光操りながら 強くなるため 忘れた笑顔 きっと二人なら 取り戻す 気づいて
I'm here waiting for you 今とは違う未来があっても I'm here waiting for you 叫び続けて きっと心はつなぐ糸をたぐってる あの頃の私目を覚ますように No need to cry Travel in silence 手をのばせば触れるのに
君は遠い それは思い出の中のこと 声が聞こえる 目を閉じれば 小さな痛みさえ いとしくて 見つめて
I'm here waiting for you 風に吹かれ一人迷っても I'm here waiting for you 空を見上げて ずっと心は手を広げて守ってる あの頃の君が振り返るまで No need to cry Feel something, Feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely Wide open ears To disarm the dream tickler In the constant moment You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely Let the blood flow Through all the spaces Of the universe 気づいて
I'm here waiting for you 今とは違う未来があっても I'm here waiting for you 叫び続けて きっと心はつなぐ糸をたぐってる あの頃の私目を覚ますように No need to cry Listen closely, listen closely
Listen closely, listen closely Listen closely, listen closely Listen closely, listen closely ~~~
my translation:
Olivia - A Little Pain
Travel to the moon
Sleeping, your dream untangles
No one is there while the brightness of the stars are being manipulated
The smiles that we forgot about in order to become strong
We can surely get that smile back if it is the two of us
Realizing
I'm here waiting for you
Even though our futures are different to now
I'm here waiting for you
Continuing to scream
I'm sure our hearts are still pulling in the string that ties us together
Like this, the me of that time awakens
No need to cry
Travel in silence
Even though we are holding hands
In my memories you are distant
If my eyes are closed I can't hear your voice
Even the small pain is dear (to me)
Gazing
I'm here waiting for you
Blowing to the wind and even though I'm lost
I'm here waiting for you
Always protecting our(?) hearts and spreading my arms wide
Until the you of that time looks back
No need to cry
Feel something, Feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely Wide open ears To disarm the dream tickler In the constant moment You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely Let the blood flow Through all the spaces Of the universe Realizing
I'm here waiting for you
Even though our futures are different to now
I'm here waiting for you
Continuing to scream
I'm sure our hearts are still pulling in the string that ties us together
Like this, the me of that time awakens
No need to cry
Listen closely, listen closely Listen closely, listen closely Listen closely, listen closely Listen closely, listen closely November 30 ♫ NewS - 愛なんて ♫
NewS - 愛なんて
どれだけ 歩いてきたんだろう？ 振り向いたら涙の跡
傷つけ 傷つき 辿りついた場所 今ここに君がいる
愛なんて 君だけさ いつでも求めすぎて 愛なんて 君なしじゃ 意味ないよ 生きられない
本当に 心で愛せているの？ 今でも不安だよ
一人きり 夢の中 辿りついた場所 震えてる君がいるよ
泣かないで 離さないよ 全てを投捨てても 未来なんて 君なしじゃ 見えないよ いらないよ
朝のひ陽射しに 君の寝顔と 照れた笑顔で 嬉しくなれるから そんな日々を感じた愛よ 永遠に
愛なんて 君だけさ いつでも求めすぎて 愛なんて 君なしじゃ 意味ないよ 生きられない
愛しても 愛しきれない 未来なんて 君なしじゃ 見えないよ いらないよ
~~~
my translation:
NewS - Such things as Love
I wonder, just how long have I walked for? Evidence of tears were on my face when I turned around
Damaged and hurt, I finally arrived at the place Right now, here you are
You are always seeking for love too much Things such as love have no meaning Without you, I cannot live
Can you really love with your heart? Even now, I feel uneasy
I finally arrived at the place in my dream alone Trembling, there you are
Don’t cry. Don’t let go. Even if everything is thrown away I don’t need things such as a future I can’t see a future without you
Since I can be happy with your sleeping face and embarrassed smile in the morning sunlight Days like those felt the love for an eternity
You are always seeking for love too much Things such as love have no meaning Without you, I cannot live
Even though I love you, I can’t stop loving you I don’t need things such as a future I can’t see a future without you
November 21 Shounen Onmyouji: WHY!!i absolutely loved this series. i have to watch ep 21-26 again though when it's subbed since i only managed to get the jist of the raws. i need some things clarified. but what i really need to do now is to release my despair over the ending. it was a bittersweet ending, but i did feel like it was sort of rushed. there's definitely room for another episode or two.
and i thought it was really lame how the rest of the 12 shinshou make an appearance all of a sudden to give their two cents in the last freaking episode. trying to fit everything into one 26 episode season was a bad call. i really wanted to know about the other shinshou who were neglected for practically the whole show and a little bit more about their relations. there seemed to be something going on between kou/touda and tenitsu/suzaku. heck, even the touda/seiryuu relationship could have been elaborated a bit more. i really don't believe that seiryuu's 'hatred' toward touda is purely based on the fact that touda went berserk and tried to kill seimei. that event had a large influence upon seiryuu's bitterness, but for some reason, it looked deeper than that. seiryuu looked torn between his words and action; saying that he will kill touda if he was to committ another 'sin' versus actually taking action on him. it was almost as if he didn't want to live up to those words.
another thing is the 'sins' that touda committed. on both occassions the poor guy was being controlled by someone or rather which made him committ those so called 'sins' and to 'punish' him because of that really made me go what-the-f*ck. it was all because of this that he had to die to only be revived and lose all his memories of masahiro -_- i don't think he deserved such a tragic fate. he didn't even do anything in his life to warrant this type of fate. sure he attacked humans, but only because ryuusai/soushu took control over his soul. sigh~~ i am so depressed. i really am. i kept on crying because the ending was just too much. to have your most precious person remember everything besides you is definitely hard to take. what made me feel really sad though was that toward to end of the last episode, touda was asking kou "why am i in this form", "why are we here", and then - "are wa dare" ~~~ *CRIES A BUCKET OF TEARS* i was seriously hoping that the years of bonding between touda and masahiro would spark some sort of nerve cell to make him remember his time with masahiro again T_T. unfortunately, that didn't happen :( the price that masahiro had to pay to save touda was indeed a high one :(
and i don't understand how masahiro could be revived. i mean, it's like he will never die or something. he has been revived so many freaking times that i've lost count. the last revival though is something that i can't understand. wakana revived him?? but how? does she even hold that kind of power to just 'send' him back to life??? >_>
also, right at the end where it shows akiko, masahiro and touda watching the fireflies at kifune was also stupid. it was so half-assed. it was as if they just wanted to make a point to show the viewers that he kept his promise. i guess that it does give closure to masahiro/akiko fans to show that they ended up together, but that was apparent from the beginning. personally, i don't think that level of closure was needed right at the end of the episode. i really needed to see some closure between masahiro/touda. it would have been nice if the absolute last scene was dedicated to that. masahiro/akiko closure could have been easily dealt with during the episode with a scene or two rather than at the end. i really can't get over that. the lasting impression of this series for me was the relationship between masahiro and touda. i was drawn into this series more and more because of their connection. it was certainly more important than his relationship with akiko in my eyes, which is why i'm having such a hard time trying to comprehend what the stupid producers/author (or whoever it was) was thinking -_-
the 'relationship' between rikugou and kazane was SO FREAKING SWEET yet short lived -_- see, i reckon this could have been developed on a more elaborate and deeper level throughout the series rather than flickering scenes here and there to hint that something exists and then only to have it confirmed in the second last episode while she died T_____T;
overall, it is a great series with a lot of potential that the anime failed to deliver. i am not sure how the manga is or how closely related the anime is to the manga, but based on the anime alone, there seemed to be a lot of arcs that could have been expanded on a deeper level. since no attention were given to these potential 'arcs', the character development was hindered. like i said earlier, what's the point of showing the remainding shinshou who did not appear for the whole series in the VERY last episode??? these characters existed but were neglected and because of that, viewers like me are sitting here thinking, well what could have been? i don't even know their names, powers, background or 'personality'. i didn't know anything about these characters. they were just pictures that held no meaning.
this could also be said for the shinshou who did appear. sure their names, ability and personality (to some extent) were evident throughout the series, but ultimately little was known about them. this is precisely why i think that an adequate amount of time should have been dedicated to these supporting roles to actually BUILD character depth. though i say that it is a great series, it could have been a lot better if it took advantage of the characters that made this story come to life. i don't think i have felt this strongly about character development before. there are series that piss me off due to the lack of character development, but i think that by writing this blog, i've pinpointed the reason why i feel so uneasy about this series. the plot was interesting, character designs were appealing, character interaction was amusing, it was humorous yet emotional, but unforunately it lacked character depth. sigh~~~what a waste -_- but, i still highly recommend this to everyone and hoping that there will be a second season (which i really doubt that there will) or an OVA or something >_> November 15 Victorian Romance Emma Part 1 & 2first and foremost -
~ i don't know how else to express my emotions right now. i feel so elated, content, SATISFIED. yep, you heard me. i've been on the edge lately as a result of watching some shocking anime series. i was seriously getting frustrated. other than the anime that i've been keeping tabs on, nothing else seemed to appeal to me. i wanted to watch a complete series, but nothing did the trick. i gave fate/stay night a go which turned out to be okay, but in the end it didn't bring me any justice. what's worse is that i watched air gear after that which totally made me even more bitter that i originally was. now that was a shocking anime -_- the character designs gave it potential, but i didn't like the storyline nor did i like the direction of the character development *remembers frustration while watching this T_T*. then, i gave basilisk a go which eased my impatience a little bit, but the only problem with that anime was that it was way too grim. tragic storyline with a tragic ending. all that lingered after i finished the series was a sense of despair, loneliness and sympathy. basilisk is a good series though if you're up for a serious and depressing journey *nod*.after all those trials, i was still feeling rather unsatisfied. that's when i stumbled across victorian romance emma. in all honesty, i doubted the quality of this anime. firstly because i didn't like the character designs and secondly, both parts were 12 episodes long. i was in the mood for a full season anime with at least 24-26 episodes. i most definitely wasn't in the mood for a short series. so by taking all those negatives into mind, you can only imagine how reluctant i was to watch this. the only hope that kept me going was the fact that it received a rather high rating on anidb. so with one huge breath i gave it a go and i can tell you now that i don't regret it in the very least.
there aren't a lot of 12/13 episode animes that satisfy me, but Emma did the trick. both seasons were fantastic and i loved how the second part was completely relevant to the first part! i was actually afraid that the direction of the anime would turn toward a new storyline with new characters and such, but i was relieved to see that this was not so. it was a perfect continuation of the first part and i'm glad that it turned out that way! if the second season chose to give Emma a new love interest or a brand new storyline to work with then i wouldn't have regarded this series as highly as i do now.
but firstly, the general plot to the series. it's about the love between a maid and an upperclass noble set in the 19th century. through fate they met, fell in love, encountered hardships (as you would expect from this type of relationship), but perservered. both characters even attempted to look for a new beginning only to find themselves struggling to forget one another. they were both afraid, lacked confidence, courage and hestitated throughout the whole series, which may sound annoying to most viewers, but i can guarantee you that this wasn't annoying or frustrating at all. through all that hesitation, hardships, doubts and questions, their resolves strengthened and with the support of the people around them, they finally gathered enough courage to accept their own feelings so that they could find happiness together *-*
even though this sounds like and most probably is, the typical love story between a rich noble and a poor woman, it is definitely worth watching. the pace and depth of the story unravelled beautifully and developed at the right moments. there wasn't a moment where i thought that this series was going too fast or too slow - it was just right. nor was there a moment where i thought that the characters lacked development. though it was frustrating to see the potential love interests for both william and emma (eleanor and hanz), it certainly gave it spice. the suspense of not knowing what the ending would be like kept me on the edge. some people may find that the ending was predictable, but personally for me, the direction of the story could have turned out either way. i really did think that william was going to adjust himself to a new love. even though emma's feelings for him remained the same throughout the series, it was william who i was worried about. i was literally sitting here thinking to myself, don't you dare develop feelings for eleanor!! i would have seriously become a bitter, bitter viewer by the end of it, if that did happen. *sigh of relief*
emma is also not your typical 'poor' maid. sure, the hardships that she encountered in her past was a common story, but the way she developed into a refined, intelligent and strong woman in the end was admirable. and it wasn't as if she was out to look for love, love came to her after she refused all the proposals that she received. i was actually quite shocked myself as i didn't expect her to receive so many letters of proposal. at the beginning though, i have to say that her character was rather bland, but she started to become a little bit more interesting as the episodes went on, which of course was due to her interactions with william^^ if any, the only negative thing that i can think of about emma's character was her seiyuu. at times, i thought that the seiyuu for her character sounded too mature. she was only 20 years old yet she sounded like she was 30. and this may be due to her mature and serious character, but it didn't fit well especially when she was with william, who sounded like his age. when they were paired up, it was hard for me to feel the romance or chemistry between them because the image of emma being in a position of a 'teacher' or a 'parent' kept popping up in my mind whenever she spoke. that was pretty much the kind of feeling that i was getting from the seiyuu. and what's worse is that whenever she was in her maid outfit with her hair up, it made her look even more older!
as for william, well he frustrated me at times with his decisions but i can't blame him. being the kind person that he is, he really couldn't refuse eleanor, which annoyed me to an extent. i was happy to see him try to at least tell her that his feelings for her aren't love and i commend him for telling her straight out in the second season, but that's as far as his determination goes. the committment that eleanor showed was definitely hard for him to refuse and i guess that was why i got so irritated. if he's going to make a decision, then stick to it! don't sway at every bend in the road, you dumbass!! -_- what hakim said to him was really true - "do your feelings only amount to that much". but, the last couple of episodes in the second season really made me respect william a little bit more with him going around trying to find investors, so that his family's company wouldn't be ruined. even though it was william's actions that brought about the possible destruction of his family, i was happy to see him give it his all to try to rectify the situation. viscount campbell was a bastard i tell you -_- *shakes fist*...he was definitely the stereotypical image of an aristocrat.
another character that i think deserves a mention is hakim. this guy rocks. the seiyuu for his character matched perfectly and i can't get sick of listening to his voice either XD it has this sort of musky and charismatic tone to it
~ i just googled to see who the seiyuu was and it's no surprise why i fell in love with hakim's voice. the same seiyuu voiced morita in honey&clover XD *loves morita* i also loved how he supported william, as well as all the other characters that he interacted with throughout the series. i reckon that william would never have been pushed into the 'right' pathway if it wasn't for the advice that he got from hakim^^ the female attendants who were always with him were so cute!! hahaha i loved how they acted!! the way that they poked eleanor's nee-sama or randomly tried on other people's hats in the background was adorable hahaha. i guess it's just something that you have to see to understand hahaha. or maybe i'm just weird, who knows haha. i just know that it gave me a light hearted perk at the right moments^^ i would have liked to see a potential love interest for hakim though~~and i also loved the okusama in the second season. i don't know what her name was, but the german lady who took emma in. it was nice to see some level headed aristocrats in the series! a good way to balance out the bunch of snobs and gossipers that dominated the noble scene. during the second season i just kept feeling that emma was lucky to have been accepted by such a nice family. it made me feel all warm and fuzzy
~ the same can be said for the okusama in the first season (stowner). emma was extremely lucky that she met her as well as stowner was the one who educated her and taught her how to read and write. i also loved it how stowner was not against the love of emma and william, even though she had an idea of the types of challenges that they would be faced with. her encouragement and support for emma's love was just much loveok well it's 330am and i'm buggered (yes, even though i haven't done anything all day haha). bottom line, victorian romance emma season 1 & 2 is definitely worth watching! it was nice to finally watch a series that put my irritation to rest! i felt content and warm after watching this fairy tale. it left me with a satisfied smile and it is definitely going onto my list of favorites. i'm not sure if i'll be able to rewatch it again though as the series tends to be rather continuous, meaning that i wouldn't be able to rewatch it w/o skipping >_> hahaha this is the first series that has made me feel like this. usually, i tend to skip through episodes in a flash and just watch my favorite scenes or selected episodes, but i feel that i can't do that with emma^^
November 08 Farewell Korea~~update
BEWARE. this is one long ass blog haha. this basically summarizes my stay in korea, well excluding the two nights that i spent in seoul. this is basically how my practicum experience went.
[3・・・2・・・1・・・ GO ;D]
so, let's start from the beginning. i went to korea for 3 weeks as a part of my ESL teaching round this semester. i was at a city called jeonju, about 2 hours away from seoul. it was semi-remote, but not totally country though. there were a lot of farms and harvests around, but there was also a downtown and wasn't a totally isolated area. accommodation was free and all meals were provided as i was homestaying with my supervisor and his family. they were really sweet. they had two children, 7 year old son and 9 year old daughter (in korean years. babies who are born are seen to be 1 year old rather than zero months, so minus one year and you get the western age haha.) and on monday-friday the grandmother and grandfather would stay over to help take care of the children.
i was placed at a private middle school and even though it is 'private', it's not the same as the private schools that we have in australia. students don't need to pay 10k a year to attend and the wages of private/public school teachers are pretty much the same. sure, there are schools in korea where students are expected to pay high fees equivalent to those of australian private schools, but there are a lot of private schools that aren't like that. i tried asking my supervisor what the difference was b/w a private and a public school and he just told me that it just had to do with how many owners there are; owned by one person or by many people and that was it haha. so anyways, the school i was placed at was called shin heung middle school. it was co-ed and had about 900 students from years 7-9. classes were large. 35 students per class on average.
[week 1]
my first week was pretty damn hectic. i landed on a friday and i thought i had the weekend to recuperate and prepare myself for school on monday but that wasn't the case. i was practically on the go for about 22 hours straight. it took about 9 hours from melbourne > hong kong, 3.5 hours from hong kong > seoul, then another 4 hours to get from the airport > jeonju! I WAS SO EXHAUSTED! and the worse thing was that i got my flight schedule muddled up LOL. i thought that i was flying off friday midnight, so saturday morning right, but that wasn't the case haha. i was meant to be flying off on friday morning! i will never forget how much i panicked that night haha. here i was, sitting at my computer watching anime only to get an sms from fiona saying "i'm at the airport. call me when you get here" which left me going what-the-f*ck O_O? if she didn't message me then i would have totally missed my flight! thanks fi~~!!
so anyways haha, back to the main point haha. i met my host family at about 10 that night and after all that travelling i just really wanted to shower and sleep! but, sleeping was out of the question haha. i was told that on saturday it was my host mother's father's 80th birthday and they wanted me to go along. the grandmother and grandfather lived about 40 minutes away from where we were and typically, koreans are early birds, so i ended up having to wake up at 8am the next day. we had 'breakfast' at 9am and the reason why i put breakfast in inverted commas was because the amount of food that was served WAS NOT BREAKFAST MATERIAL! haha gosh. but throughout my stay, i realized that this is the korean way of life. they love eating and don't get me wrong, i do too, but not that much! i normally skip breakfast in australia, so having to eat a meal that is equivalent to a lunch and possible dinner at 7am in the morning was really difficult to do! anyways, so i spent that saturday meeting the whole family, then during the breaks b/w meals, my host family took me to a nearby museum and we also went to some festival. i can't remember what the festival was about but they had like old school rice mills, swings, huge dragon thingies made from sticks and a lot of people flying kites.
on the sunday, i went with my host family to church (a lot of koreans are really religious christians). i went to the morning and evening worship service, meaning, another early morning for jess. the morning service started at 11am from memory, but they have breakfast, so i had to wake up earlier to eat with them. i was open to try anything, even church, but it wasn't my cup of tea. firstly, i am not religious so services like these doesn't really mean much to me and secondly, the whole thing was in korean T_T. so i ended up just sitting there for 2 hours listening to the pastor give what seemed like a rather passionate talk about something or rather in korean. then i had lunch at the church and my host mother took me home for a couple of hours before we headed back out again for the evening service. they had something going on that day so there were performances in the evening. people singing, playing instruments and dancing (i found this to be really hilarious LOL HAHA the dance was so tacky that i couldn't help myself hahahaha).
then on my first monday, it was orientation day. my supervisor took me to shin heung to meet the principal. i also met a few other english teachers there while i was at it before he took me to the meeting point for our orientation. i got to see the other student teachers and then the minister of education gave a speech welcoming us. all the student teachers were also asked to go up one by one with their supervisors to say something about each other. after that, my supervisor disappeared somewhere (he did this a lot -_-) and i was handballed to angela and her supervisor, joong ja for half a day. i tagged along with angela to her school which was fun XD as expected, the students didn't approach me b/c i don't look like a foreigner but once i said HELLO i would get this "OOOOOHHH" reaction and was looked at like i was from another planet -_- joong ja also asked if i wanted to meet the students so i said SURE THING! thinking that all i had to do was talk to them right, but then i ended up finding myself TEACHING A FRIGGIN CLASS ON MY FRIGGIN OWN WITH NOTHING PREPARED O_O hahahahhaha. i was crapping myself man. she introduced me and then she just said, go for it. my reaction then was seriously "........." so i ended up having to think up of something on the spot, which wasn't pretty hahaha. anyways, that was definitely an 'experience' i guess haha. oh, and in the morning while i was at shin heung meeting the principal, i was also broadcasted over the school LOL without being told earlier! i mean if i'm going to be broadcasted over the school, i would have liked to have had some time to collect my thoughts and think of what to say! Then I was asked by my supervisor, “jess where’s your lesson plan”. My response “…….” – WHAT lesson plan?? I haven’t even met his classes yet nor did I know how their English was like! that just shocked me a bit. I felt like my supervisor didn’t really know what I was expected to do -_-
then on the first week, I ended up teaching 5 classes when I was meant to be observing. I did an ‘introduction’ about myself and Australia for a full 45 minute period ;_; I also took a couple of 1st grader (year 7) classes and I didn’t mind that as much since they were excited to see me haha. But mainly, I took the 3rd graders (year 9), well I asked for it haha. I didn’t want to take ALL of his classes and my supervisor had 4x3rd grader classes anyways, meaning that if I prepared a lesson plan for one class I could modify it and reuse it again for the next three classes *-* so I did that haha.
[week 2 and 3]
I have to say though, the students were GORGEOUS <3 there were smartasses and some unfriendly ones in the classes I took, but overall, I enjoyed my time with them. I took classes 3-1, 3-2, 3-3 and 3-4. by far 3-3 and 3-1 were my favorite classes!
3-3 was a GEM! They were so enthusiastic, they participated, they cooperated, they were friendly, they accepted me straight off and never looked at me like “pft” or rolled their eyes. They were simply just awesome :D they were also chosen to be my exhibition class, so I was really happy about that! I wish that I brought more koalas with me though!! I loved this class and I miss these students so much! They were also more than willing to take a photo with me too! Well 80% of the class was hahaha I had to like nag the other 20% ~_~ and during my exhibition class, I used a song, sisqo – incomplete to be my ‘warm up’ activity and just to have a little bit of fun. I gave them a cloze activity to do and since we didn’t do a rehearsal I was starting to get a bit worried because while I was playing it, no one seemed to be writing anything down! I was thinking, omg omg omg. What if no one answers me!! BUT! This class blew me away and practically most of them were able to answer all of the missing words! I was so shocked considering we never practiced it!! Their listening skills were definitely good!
As for 3-1, I loved these guys but they were a tad quieter and less cooperative as compared to 3-3 haha. It wasn’t a bad thing though. they still listened to me, smiled with me and participated, or pretended to do the work haha, when I told them to. Some of the students' English levels were pretty good. I gave out an introductory letter during my introduction class and the students had to complete it saying what their names are, what they liked/disliked etc. I had one girl who wrote and I quote, “I would like to be a baker. To be a baker is just an impossible dream” – I was wide eyed and my jaw dropped. HOW NATURAL does that sound?? *thumbs up to her* this girl was super shy though. I had to like nag her to take a photo with me and she still didn’t LOL and when she did she used the bloody jacket to cover half of her face >_> but I was glad that she went in for the class photo^^ taking a photo with this class was like a life and death matter I swear haha. I have never seen people SO SHY! My gosh hahaha. So anyways, there was another boy who was like a smartass but an interesting smartass hahaha. Quote, “he is fat but his father police so I no touchy him” LOLOL hahahaha. Okay, so his comment was mean but I couldn’t help but laugh LOL because he was seriously trying to express it hahahaha.
Then during one lesson where my supervisor said that he wanted to go through the mock exam with the class, I sat in an empty chair next to this boy, sang min who was awesome. This boy touched my heart man. During that class I had a piece of chalk and I don’t think that sang min was listening to my supervisor properly because I ended up correcting his answers for him. The exam questions were in Korean but earlier that day I asked my supervisor to give me a copy of it because I wanted to see if I could do it and I answered all the ones that were in English ahaha so I marked the correct answers for him. When I did he was like “OH CRAP” hahahah it was funny. Then he started communicating with me with notes (students are much better at communicating via notes rather than speaking and listening^^) and he was telling me that the boy to my left, hwang jang, was his best friend and I was like cool! I also found out that they have known each other for 10 years. It was nice to just KNOW one of my students! And because of that, the next day, which was my last day, sang min wrote me a letter and gave it to me out of the blue. I totally did not expect that!! He was the first one to give me a letter and in the end was the only boy who did! All the other letters were from the girls. It was just a sincere letter wishing me a safe trip home and to be happy in Australia^^ he also said that I was his best friend *tears* I regretted not giving him my email. I would have loved to have kept in contact with him. But out of all the letters and people who were saying that I was their best friend, I would say that sang min was probably the only one that I felt like those words meant something. Having a random, written conversation with him for like 20 minutes had an impact upon him and I was glad that he was able to spend some time to write me a letter. His English level wasn’t very high so that letter must have taken a lot of effort :) I was very touched *tears* and I gave him a koala hahaha.
I only brought 24 koalas with me. I ended up giving it to the students who wrote me a letter and to my two favorite classes 3-1 and 3-3 hahaha. in 3-1 I made some students rock off for it XD and that was fun hahaha and in 3-3 I asked them random questions about myself and first one to put their hand up to answer got one :D hahahah sigh. I’M SORRY TO THE STUDENTS (who I wanted to give one to) WHO DIDN’T GET ONE!! I really wanted to give you one though ;_;
As for 3-2 and 3-4 well, yes. Hahaha. I had mixed feelings about these classes. They were less cooperative, looked less interested and I just didn’t feel that comfort level while I was with them. Particularly 3-2. it got to a stage where I dreaded taking them. They just didn’t do the work and it was just pissing me off so much. Don’t get me wrong, not all the kids in these classes were bad, but the ones that frustrated me really made me feel like UGH I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
I mean in 3-2, this one boy turned his head on me and started to play with his hair. HOW FREAKING RUDE! Regardless of what culture you are from or whether you know or don’t know English, that gesture is just PLAIN RUDE. I was so angry! Then another boy, I got him to stand up to read aloud, why? Because he spends his time sitting in class doing jack all. So he gets up and starts reading, but he doesn’t do it properly. I mean I think I am a pretty fair person. I encourage my students to try and even if you are struggling with reading aloud or speaking, if you TRY to pronounce the word or have a go, I will still give you the thumbs up. But this boy just didn’t do it properly. He wasn’t even trying! After every single word he asked the girl next to him. HE IS IN 3rd GRADE!!! THIS TYPE OF WORK SHOULDN’T BE ANYTHING NEW FOR HIM!! And he was just taking his time doing it, laughing and just not doing it properly. The whole class had to just sit there and wait for him to take his little sweet time -_- then this other boy who was a total smartass I told him that if he didn’t want to be here then he can leave. I then told this to the whole class. I was sick and tired of students who were disrupting other students who actually wanted to do the freaking work. My supervisor backed me up and started telling them in Korean how I felt about the lack of participation and after that, some of the students seemed to have reflected on their consciences and started to do the work a little bit more. Having the sheet on the right side was definitely an achievement T_T
But there were some beauties in 3-2 though. This one boy who always called me “teacher teacher pls help” was awesome hahahaha. I loved him because he just showed the will to have a go! He knew that the sentences didn’t sound right and he was more than happy when I corrected him^^ another two boys who came to the English festival voluntarily I might add were awesome. They definitely had a lower English ability but they were gorgeous. They would always listen attentively and was just more than happy to be in my class^^
Now, now, now. The last class, 3-4. this class wasn’t as bad as 3-2 and there were a few students who I adored in this class. The girl who made me an origami rose <3, the girl sitting next to her who would always listen and smile, the two girls who were fantastic at English and who participated, the girl who made me homemade cookies *cries*, the boy (who I found out too late ;_;) who could speak Japanese, the boy (who I found out too late again ;_;) who was interested in Japanese and Korean dramas and the two boys who I had a random, written conversation with on my last day XD everyone else was pretty meh. The girls in the second row of this class though weren’t very friendly. They were the typical “eye rollers” and they just pissed me off so I didn’t bother with them -_- then I had a smartass in the class, actually I had a couple of them, one whom I sent out of the room. First he was mocking me so I got him to stand up, then while he was standing he was having a conversation with the boy next to him without shutting up. I gave him “the look” a few times, meaning, BE QUIET but that didn’t work so I was like that’s it, leave. I have to say it was hard to communicate though because he didn’t understand English and I couldn’t speak Korean. I kept asking, WHY THIS BEHAVIOR? WHY SO SILLY? But he just didn’t get it OR he pretended to not understand. Who knows. I just know that I wasn’t able to get my point across. I let him back into the class and he was a bit more … tamed I guess. It was my last day and I just didn’t want to bother with him anymore. If it was my class for a year, then things would have been different but since it wasn’t and I wasn’t going to see them ever again, I cut myself some slack and lessened the burden for myself.
anyways back to the students who I got to know too late. This was probably the only thing that I regretted while I was there. I understand that it is an uncontrollable thing because only time can tell whether or not students will warm up to me or not, but I just felt like it all happened a bit too late. I only really started to get to know some of the students in my third week which was a shame. The boy who spoke Japanese approached me and started having a conversation with me in Japanese^^ now if I knew this sooner, then maybe, I would have been able to communicate with him even more!! As for the boy who was interested in dramas, he who couldn’t speak Japanese, was forced to speak to me in ENGLISH! Yes that’s right! He approached me numerous times within the last two days and talked to me in English because we had a common ground – dramas. Man, if only (yes, I’m starting the – if only – talk now haha) I knew this sooner then maybe I might have been more useful for him! He could have practiced speaking in a conversation so much more!!
And the last boy who practically ignored me and showed no interest every single time he was in class, surprisingly warmed up to me on the last day. WHY? Because I found out that he was dating this girl in the 2nd grade homeroom class that I observed XD it was the cutest thing when I found out hahaha. I was like AWWW!!! And they match too! So here I was in class, my supervisor was saying something or rather in Korean, then the two boys waved me to come over so I did and ended up having a random written conversation with them XD. I pointed to the boy and wrote “your girlfriend in 2-8?” and I think his English was quite low so the boy next to him translated most of the time XD but when he understood what I wrote he was like all smiley and was like HEHEHE YES hahahaha. So I was like, “do you <3 her” and he was like “yes” XDD AWWWWW. And I had a photo of her as well and he wanted to see so I took out my camera and showed him and he was like all TEEHEE sorta thing LOL. He was adorable. I think that because I knew something about him, he started to accept me. I mean he took a photo with me O_O - I KNOW. Weird huh? I was taking a photo with this other student and then out of no where he comes next to me and takes a photo with us^^ I felt happy!
Overall I had a lot of up’s and down’s with the students, with my supervisor and with my host family but in the end it was a valuable experience. I was able to experience first hand the Korean school culture and though it was hard to swallow at times - the discipline and punishment issue (yes they still physically hit their students and make them kneel or go down on all 4s in a push up position for a whole period), it was nonetheless an eye opener. This blog is way too long so I’m not going to crap on about how frustrated I was with my supervisor and even though I said that I didn’t learn anything from him; that is not entirely true. I ended up learning what NOT to do as a teacher so I guess I got something out of that. By far though, my students were the highlight of my stay though. I was ready to go home but on the last day when I received all these letters, gifts and just a connection with some of the kids, I felt like I didn’t want to leave. They were all lovely and I wish them all the best in the future for whatever they choose to do from the bottom of my heart. Students of Shin Heung Middle School – I’LL NEVER FORGET YOU August 19 銀魂~~最高！[update #1] mitsuba arc *cries*
getting around to watching the mitsuba arc took a lot of effort hahaha. i put it off for a few weeks thinking that i'd wait for all of the episodes to be released before i delve into it, but surprisingly the arc only lasted for a mere two episodes. i was expecting a semi-arc of at least five episodes hahaha but oh wells. it covered what needed to be covered in two episodes and yes, no doubt about it - it was depressing as hell. and when hijikata finally said it with his own mouth (though not to mitsuba directly) that all he wishes for is the happiness for the woman whom he loved seriously made me go out of control haha. i was seriously feeling for hijikata at that point. and to top that off, the last scene after mitsuba's passing that subtly showed hijikata sobbing while eating the spicy senbei was all that i could take. they were seriously made for each other, especially with their compulsive addiction with adding things to their food haha. the tobasco flavored parfait was just hilarious LOL hahaha. pooooooor gintoki!! hahaha at least he was nice enough to gulf it down XD
and i was also finally able to see kondo's serious side for a change, especially when he lashed out on okita at the hospital. it was also good to see okita show some sort of emotion as well. the spoilt side of him while being with his sister, the anger? envy? confusion? and self loathing that he felt regarding his relationship with hijikata and of course the grief that he felt after his sister's passing. it was also nice to get a glimpse into the history of kondo, hijikata and okita prior to their shinsengumi days. another notable scene for me was when okita sliced the car with the corrupt brother-in-law in half. it was such an intense scene for me hahah. almost as if it was like "haa~~finally i get to see you unleash some of your power".
oh and another thing that shocked me was how hijikata was calling okita 'senpai' during their non-shinsengumi days ahahaha. it was just so weird...only because i never anticipated that haha.
so anyways, though it was an extremely short arc, it was nonetheless a powerful one where i was overwhelmed with a series of multiple emotions simultaneously. this is one of the reasons why i love gintama - it has yet to fail me.
i have finally decided to blog about this anime and i gotta say, it absolutely rocks^^ i guess because it's different to the types of animes that i'm use to watching, it makes it all the more entertaining and unique. i love the concept of having the mixture of samurai x ninja x alien characters living in a technologically advanced edo period XD
almost all of the characters are interesting to watch, but sometines i want the less significant characters to get more of a spotlight though, particularly sacchan and zenzou who come up sporadically in random episodes here and there for comical relief. what i would like to see though is having sacchan appear in an episode that flaunts her good side rather than an episode that purely lives to make fun of her masochistic fetishes. sure, the whole bondage obsession with gin is hilarious, but i still want to see a kakkoi part of sacchan so gintoki can finally open his eyes and be somewhat amazed by her as well *-* haha. and yes, i am a sacchan/gin shipper
, which is why i want to see more of her awesomeness so that gintoki can be in awe too haha. that kind of episode is never going to happen though, since a) it doesn't seem to fit sorachi's style and b) it doesn't seem to be a focus of the story haha. sigh ~~ i remember reading a comment on someone else's blog about gintama and how they were saying why the love triangle between sacchan x gin x otae is funny only because gintoki is not interested in either of them and plays it off as if it is just too troublesome to be with them. as much as it pains me, i can agree with that though haha. but i have to admit that i really don't like the subtle hints of the otae/gin pairing (T_T). that pairing is just too hard to swallow for me haha. it really annoys me!i also want to see more of the shinsengumi and katsura. katsura does come up quite a bit i think, but that's alright because i can't see how someone could get sick of watching him haha, especially katsura (and gin) in action XD! i think it was episode 60 or 61 when gin, katsura and takasugi were finally 'reunited' and how we got to see katsura and gin kick some serious ass. that was really satisfying to watch ;D ~ oh! and i just loved the episode with ikumatsu <3 that was much love! yes, i'm a sucker for pairings haha. i've already paired up a few characters already hehe and this is indeed one of my favorite pairings. the good thing about gintama is that there are just so many potential relationships hinted that it gives fans the chance to create their own stories about them. so definitely, in my eyes katsura/ikumatsu
for the win  as for the shinsengumi, i can never get sick of watching these guys either haha. they are just so badass haha. the one scene that made me go kyaa
the most was the episode when all the characters got together to decide on an alterate story for gintama. the kyaa part of it was when the shinsengumi were introduced into katsura's idea haha, even if it was only just for a split second. that image was totally in sync with my view of the shinsengumi haha *starts fangirling*. hijikata with his cool facade, okita and his sadistic yet childish behavior (and of course the okita x kagura pairing owns me), and kondo when he's serious haha. i think the fact that kondo is portrayed to be an helpless idiot 3/4 of the time his badass image gets damaged, but when his serious side is shown it's just much love haha. i also love the hijikata/gin pairing too. they are so alike that it's funny to watch. their rivalary is priceless and the fact that they have the same thought patterns is even more adorable XD ~ i think it's the same with the okita/kagura pairing as well. it's just so cute to watch! some examples, sadaharu vs sadomaru naming coincidence, they watch the same soapies, they are both sadistic and ridiculously strong, and they are both competitive and childish haha *thinks back to the episode about the mechanic and his robotic son...i can't remember his name haha, but the matsuri scene* but i can't wait to see the story between hijikata and okita's sister animated though! the summary on wiki just sounds so *-*...it's about time that sorachi chose to include some serious romantic arcs in the story...even if the ending is bittersweet (T_T)
anyways because of my urge to watch more of gintama, i succumbed to dling the raws and even the chinese subbed files lol. the raws were quite hard to find. most of the torrents were dead unfortunately, hence the chinese subs. gintama is definitely difficult to understand without subtitles, especially the jokes. there's just too many cultural references included in it which makes it even harder to comprehend lol. i sort of got the jist of it, but i can't wait until the english subs are released though. it would clear up a lot of things for me haha.
the one thing that is bugging me the most is the teacher that taught gin, katsura and takasugi. i think his name was shouya or something and how gin made a reference saying something about abandoning a ramen shop at the end of the takasugi arc. to me, it somehow seemed to be linked to ikumatsu's ramen shop but i have no idea how lol. it's either their teacher was ikumatsu's husband, or her husband was killed by their teacher or something or rather. i honestly have no idea haha. that's about the only thing that's irritating me atm haha. damn me and my limited japanese -_- i also can't wait to see more of gin's past with his old comrads too. that should be sweet, even though they will ultimately battle it out with takasugi. i hope they can somehow change takasugi's view on the world and make peace with him though, but i don't think that's going to happen ne >_> ahh ~~ i want more gintama！
 August 10 ラブ★ラブ復活♥！~ UPDATE ~ ！[UPDATE] FINAL CHAPTER OF LOVECOM MANGA :O yes, you heard me..."chappi" LOL XD
well firstly - YAY！:D i'm so happy right now. WHY do you ask? well, i so happened to check the lovecom community on LJ and found out that there was ONE LAST CHAPTER OF LOVECOM!!! i was soooo confused at the beginning! i thought the post was about lovecom PLUS, but i'm so grateful to the person who posted the link to the final chapter. to think that there was one more chapter left (O_O) i am still shocked haha. i wasn't expecting it at all.
so now just a brief summary. the chapter was basically a reunion for all the lovecom members, including maity, his wife (i can't remember her name now lol. i think it started with J..too lazy to check XD), haruka, seiko-chin and even kohori! well anyways, nobu chan finally came back to osaka to visit and on the day of risa's birthday they all went to the beach to play~~ this chapter also reinforced and i guess, strengthened^^ the relationship between otani and risa too which was really satisfying!
the chapter typically started off with risa's insecurities, which mainly revolved around the fact that she felt that something seemed different between her and otani, since he seemed to be off in his own little world, busy with his friends from uni and his part time job. it also didn't help when otani bumped into his uni friends at the beach, which was where risa not only found out that he was nicknamed "chappi" LOL HAHAAHA (yes he was named after a dog XD), but also the fact that otani didn't tell his uni friends that he had a girlfriend. i was pretty shocked at this myself lol. i was totally wide-eyed and repeatedly asking myself, WHY OTANI WHY! i seriously thought they were going to drift apart haha *wipes sweat*. nearly gave me a heart attack. and to top up my anxiety, otani ALSO forgot that it was risa's birthday :O~！ tsk tsk.
but in the end, it was seriously just an honest mistake on otani's part. he ended up buying a bouquet of roses for risa
and yes, the roses had meaning to it! hehe. at the beginning of the chapter while risa thought that otani was totally self consumed in his phone conversation with his mates from uni, she noticed how a guy on the table next to them gave his girlfriend a bouquet of flowers and stared with dazzling eyes. amazingly enough, otani actually noticed her staring at that couple all starry eyed which was why he bought her the flowers in the first place haha. the fact that it was linked to the incident at the beginning, it made otani's apology even more sincere because it proved that otani still watches risa carefully, even though he gives off the image that he doesn't really care. if otani had bought her roses for the sake of buying them, then i would have thought of it as being a cheap cop out. in the end, it was nicely played out^^BUT the ABSOLUTE KYANESS of this chapter was when otani said and i quote "risa".....(O____O) KYYAAAA
！ that was like the first time that he EVER called risa by her first name and with such great timing too *-* i hope that part will be animated!! it will definitely make me die from happiness lol. i mean gosh, look how happy i am with just READING the freaking thing. *happy sigh*overall as i had expected, lovecom is definitely a great manga. i've had my up's and down's with it, but in the end it blew me away with one satisfying attack. i don't know how many times i have said goodbye to this wonderful series, but here i am parting from it again lol. i can happily say though - i am totally content, satisfied and in ecstacy^^ lovecom - saikou！
LOVELY COMPLEX REVIVED
^______^ ！！yes, that's right. i'm happy to say that my previous warm and fuzzy tingles over lovecom has finally returned
! episode 18 was just awesome. i guess the whole birthday idea was so good to begin with that it was pretty much impossible for the anime to go wrong ne XD ~ i absolutely LOVED the otani surprise kiss attack on koizumi XD and yes, we cannot forget the follow up *mutual* kiss that took place after that ;Doh gosh. i'm over the moon right now ~_~. even though i expected to see those sequence of events, it still managed to stir my emotions and sent me off happily content
*gives an extremely satisfied sigh* this is what the anime should be about! the way in which the manga was depicted in motion was just great! while i do believe that the anime should stick closely to the manga, i still think that it shouldn't follow it blindly. what i mean by that is that i want the anime to capture and express the emotions of the manga and bring it to "life". i have mentioned a number of times before how certain mangas have sent me on an insane and intense emotional rollercoaster ride, where it had the ability to either make me smile idiotically, cry a bucket of tears or feel an overwhelming sense of suspense. that's right - still images that are accompanied by speech bubbles filled with text and nothing more. it does all this without the use of background music or voice intonation to help intensify the situations. it's just like reading an extremely good novel. the way in which the content is mentally envisioned heavily depends on the author's ability to articulate those 'images' through a series of words. likewise, the way in which the plot, mood and setting of each frame that are conveyed in mangas depend on the artist's ability to express each moment through a sequence of images, with or without text, since a picture is able to tell a thousand words afterall.alright, so i went off on a tangent and started rambling on about my weird passion for anime/manga haha, so moving along now. in any case, i am back on track again anticipating the episodes to come. it has been a while since i last felt this way about lovecom and i'm glad that this feeling is back
 August 06 ♫ 平野綾 - God Knows ♫i don't know why, but at the moment i just have the biggest urge to translate lol which is why i'm posting up another song so quickly XD so here it is, the insert song from ♥ The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi ♥ got to love the haruhi-kyon relationship :D (and poo to asahina! ;o) if he ends up with asahina i will be so pissed >_> anyways, haha back to the song ~ は～い…どうぞ！
平野綾 - God Knows
渇いた心で駆け抜ける
ごめんね何もできなくて 痛みを分かち合うことさえ あなたは許してくれない 無垢に生きるため振り向かず
背中向けて 去ってしまう on the lonely rail 私ついていくよ
どんな辛い世界の闇の中でさえ きっとあなたは輝いて 超える未来の果て 弱さ故に魂こわされぬように my way 重なるよ いまふたりに God bless... 届けて熱くなる想いは
現実溶かしてさまよう 会いたい気持ちに理由はない あなたへあふれだす Lovin' you せめて美しい夢だけを
描きながら 追いかけよう for your lonely heart やめて嘘はあなたらしくないよ
目を見てこれからのことを話そう 私覚悟してる 暗い未来だって 強くなって運命変えられるかもね my wish かなえたいのに すべては God knows... あなたがいて わたしがいて
ほかのひとは消えたしまった 淡い夢の美しさを描きながら 傷跡なぞる だから私ついていくよ
どんな辛い世界の闇の中でさえ きっとあなたは輝いて 超える未来の果て 弱さ故に魂こわされぬように my way 重なるよ いまふたりに God bless... ~~~~~
my translation:
Hirano Aya - God Knows
Running through with a heart that yearned
I'm sorry, I can't do anything
And even if we share the pain
You aren't going to forgive me
In order to merely live without turning around
Turning away, you end up leaving
On the lonely rail
Take me along with you
Even in the darkness of any painful world
You will surely be shining
The end of the future that passes through
My soul will not be broken by my weaknesses under these circumstances
"My way" will spread over
To the two of them now, God bless...
The burning memories that are delivered
Dissolve and wander about in reality
There isn't any reason to my feelings of wanting to see you
[My feelings] begin to overflow to you, Lovin' You
While picturing the beautiful dream
At least let us chase after it
For your lonely heart
Stop it, it isn't like you to lie
After looking straight into my eyes
I'm prepared to hear the things that you look like you want to say
Becoming stronger might change my fate
And even the darkest futures
Even though I want my wish to be granted
As for everything, God knows...
You and I are both here
And everyone else disappeared
Tracing the scars
While picturing the beauty of the faint dream
So, take me along with you
Even in the darkness of any painful world
You will surely be shining
The end of the future that passes through
My soul will not be broken by my weaknesses under these circumstances
"My way" will spread over
To the two of them now, God bless...
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